Let Me Hear You

[ Passwords and Plans ]

I woke up at one o'clock in the afternoon, and I still feel terrible. Severus was the first person I allowed into my mind, and I knew I was his first too. But he betrayed me and made me feel like a child who isn't mature enough to know the truth, and I feel heartbroken.

Still lying in bed, I made a mental list of my tasks for today: find Dumbledore and ask him to change the password to my room; build up drawers in my mind like Severus did so I can lock everything I need away from him; and demand my key back from him.

I need to build the drawers up in case kicking him out of my mind isn't enough. I don't know how strong this bond is, and I don't want to risk finding out when it's too late. I will admit that I am doing this out of spite. I don't have much to hide, but I would feel better knowing my sexual escapades aren't broadcast live for him. Plus, I would prefer to keep the monthly Slytherin common room parties hidden from him too. The first party of the school year is this Friday; I would not be very popular if everyone knew the reason he gate-crashed was because I couldn't keep my mind shut.

I shot up out of bed with a grin; I suddenly felt very much awake. I know exactly how to make Severus pay for making me feel like a child: if he wants to treat me like one, I am going to act like one.

Before I can put my plan into motion, I need to speak to Dumbledore. Severus entered my room last night because he knew my password. I can't have that happen again if this plan is going to work. He needs to feel as helpless and confused as I do.

Feeling far too stimulated at the thought of making Severus suffer, I jumped out of bed and took a shower. I sighed when the hot water bit at my freezing, sensitive skin. I was sticky from a night spent sweating and crying. I stood in the steaming shower replaying everything Severus said to me last night. He thinks I am not ready to hear what he knows. Something inside me believes that Dumbledore's eventual demise, and Severus' concern for Draco are linked. Though I am incredibly nervous, I am more than ready to know.

I dried myself off quickly and threw on some jeans and a sweater. I didn't care much about how I looked right now. I had plenty of time to worry about that later, when it mattered more. It was 2:15, meaning everyone would be in their final class for the day, and the halls would be deserted. It was quite a long journey from the dungeons to Dumbledores office, so I needed to move quickly.

I practically sprinted past Severus' office. I could feel him in there, and I knew he would be able to feel me. I made a mental note of the fact that he does not have a class on Monday afternoons. I hurried up to the seventh floor, panting as I reached the gargoyle. I didn't really need to run the whole way here, but I have far too much energy to have slowed down. I muttered "Sherbet Lemon" and stepped onto the spiralling gargoyle.

As I arrived at the top of the stairs, his door swung open. "Hazel, please come in." Dumbledore motioned for me to sit opposite his desk. "I have been quite concerned about you. Severus told me you were unwell last night." He began pouring me a cup of tea. "I am alright now, sir. It has been quite an overwhelming few weeks, as I am sure you can imagine." I sat up straight, needing to maintain my composure. "I understand. Everyone needs their time to process." He smiled. "Peppermint." He confirmed, passing me the teacup.

"What brings you here?" He is genuinely curious. I praised Merlin that Severus had finally kept one of our interactions private. However, it was more likely that he wanted to keep the fact that he saw me half naked hidden from the headmaster. "I would like to change the password to my dormitory, sir." I took a sip of my tea, trying to sound as casual as possible. "That can be arranged. May I ask why so soon?" He leant over his desk, clasping his hands together. "One too many people know what my password is, and I would like to keep my chambers as private as possible." That one being Severus, the bane of my existence, Snape.