Let Me Hear You

[ Heightened Senses ]

After seventeen years, I am still not used to the inescapable thoughts of the people I am near. When I am overwhelmed, I can simply cast muffliato and be instantly relieved. However, unfortunately, that is not a permanent solution. At some stage, someone will notice I am not listening to them, and I will need to slip back into reality.

Now, however, my day-to-day life has become immensely more difficult. Knowing my soul is bonded with Severus' has opened up a floodgate I didn't know existed. I seem to be able to know how he is feeling at any given moment, no matter the distance between us. If we are within ten metres of each other, it feels like his mind is mixing with mine. I am beginning to lose track of whether I am feeling his emotions or my own.

Being in the same room as him feels like I am physically carrying him on my back. Though it is not unpleasant, it is quite heavy. I know he is feeling the same way, too. Wherever I go, if he is near, his eyes will find mine instantly. It is as though we call out to each other, though neither of us mutters a word.

Uncontrollable as it may be, we must always look away from each other as fast as possible. The students, staff, and portraits all love gossip. Though it might not seem strange that a student would be looking at a teacher, it would certainly raise some suspicions if Severus Snape, hater of all students, was seen paying attention to one in particular.

Being with him in class is manageable, seeing as he must attend to other students. However, it is quite fun hearing the comments he can't make out loud. Just about every single lesson he will call someone "insufferable" or a "foolish child". He also berates our previous D.A.D.A. professors for how poorly they have taught us. Though he doesn't mind voicing these opinions openly to the class, he keeps the more vulgar comments to himself. And me. "You can't blame them for being behind. We did no practical learning last year. You know how much of a vile toad Umbridge is." I reminded him. He had to cough to cover up a laugh.

It is being alone with him that is almost unbearable. When we are walking through the halls in the dead of night, I feel like my skin is on fire. My hands twitch and my knees tremble. I thought doing rounds with him was difficult when we could simply feel each other's emotions. Now that we are in each other's minds, a whole new level of tension hangs in the air.

He has a mind of steel, though. It seems I am only able to hear what he allows. Which is more than I would have expected, so I am not exactly complaining. Though I know he is my teacher, the strength of his mind compared to mine feels like the greatest power imbalance. While my mental walls are strong, his are impenetrable. It is as though he has free reign, while I am left fumbling in the dark.

In the first two weeks of rounds, we attempted to maintain some physical distance. He would walk on one side of the hall and I on the other. Catching students who dared to be out of bed past curfew was easy. I could hear them from the opposite hall and alert Severus. "Crabbe and Goyle are around the corner. They're heading to the kitchen again."

I liked to stay hidden while Severus dished out his punishments. Not many people know I assist him on his rounds, and I would like to keep it that way. I would not be very popular if everyone knew it was really me catching them sneaking out.

By my third week of being his personal spy, our unspoken agreement to keep our distance was forgotten.

~

"I can hear two people snogging around the corner." I beckoned him to stand beside me on my side of the hall. If he had kept walking, they would have seen him. "Who?" He stood behind me, close enough that I could feel his body heat. We aren't often this close, and when we are, the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. "Pansy and Blaise." I turned my head and looked up at him. I always seem to forget how tall he is until he is right next to me.