Ramdam na ramdam ko ang bigat na nararamdaman niya nung sinabi niya iyon. Tila nag flashback sa isip ko ang lahat ng pinagdaanan ko sa buhay yet nagagawa ko pa ring magalit sakaniya without knowing kung ano talagang rason niya.
Nun ko lang din narealize na sobrang hirap pala talaga kapag nasa sitwasyon ka kung saan nasasaktan ka nang sobra. Para kang nabibingi at nabubulag sa mga katotohanan.
Hindi ko man lang napansin ang mga ginagawa niya para sa'kin simula nung dumating siya sa café.
Nabubura lahat ng kabutihan niya sa iisang maling action na ginawa niya.
Pakiramdam ko ngayon ay napakasama ko.
Naging bulag at bingi ako sa mga sinasabi at ginagawa niya.
Siguro kasi sobra lang akong nasaktan sa pag-iwan niya at sa ginawa niya noon kaya ganon.
Hindi rin kasi ako makapaniwalang magagawa niya 'yon sa'kin. Na magagawa yun ni Lucie na naging protector ko.
Tinanggal ko ang braso niya sa'kin at niyakap siya.
Ngayon ay ako naman ang yumayakap at nagrurub sa buhok niya. Alam kong gusto niya ang ganon.
Alam kong dun lang din siya kakalma.
Lucie is like a brother to me. He was my little best friend, and he's really precious to me. But everything has changed since that day.
When he told me those words. When he bullied me. When he makes fun of me.
It hurts to hear those words coming from him. It really shattered my heart into pieces.
I felt so alone at that time.
I felt like he wasn't my Lucie anymore.
He's not the Lucie I've known.
I was crying the whole night after that. I hate him.
I hate him so much for making me feel so much pain.
My father is not the first person to break my heart, but it's him.
Its lucie.
That's why I hated him up until now.
I hated him so much that I went blind.
"I'm sorry, Lucie." After so many years of me trying hard not to mention his name, I finally say it.
I finally said his nickname that I created.
Now, I know that my heart will have its final healing.
Ngayon alam ko nang maghe-heal na talaga ako sa past ko. Na magmo-move forward na rin ako.
Iyak lang kami ng iyak sa gitna ng kalye.
Hindi namin pinapansin ang mga taong dumadaan o maski ang mga kotseng humihinto sa tabi namin saglit.
Hindi rin namin napansing late na pala.
Basta lang namin hinayaan ang mga luha naming maubos hanggang sa tuluyan na kaming tumigil.
I'm still holding him like what I used to. And his holding me too like he used to.
At ngayon ay nasa loob na kami ng kotse niya.
Nakaupo siya sa driving seat while I'm in the passenger seat.
Nasa itaas kami kung saan nakikita ang city lights pero hindi kami bumababa sa kotse.
Para lang kaming nakalutang at prino-proseso ang nangyari.
"That day, my cousin Jake was making a bet. He told me that for me to find out if you're treasuring me so much, I need to not protect you and let them bully you." Napalingon ako sakaniya nung magsalita siya. "As a kid.. Ofcourse I agreed kasi I want to know how much you treasure me. Pero nung dumating na yung araw na 'yon.. I did my best to stop them. I told them that they won. They can have my toys just leave you alone but.. They didn't listen. They told me that I need to bully you so they'll stop bullying you."
