There's a hole in my heart nobody can see

May you rest in pieces for your grave mistake

I don't know why I just did what I did but this will never be the same. Just like how it use to be, I am the enemy, and I deserved it. We both had feelings for each other, they were clearly there the other night. I made the grave mistake of treating it as one night stand, knowing she would not want to be with me, or so I thought.

She felt used, especially when she found me with someone else the very next night, literally walked in on us.. I was drunk and inappropriate..and may have said things I regret and tried to get back with Case the following night. I've been trying to talk to her and beg for forgiveness but she wants absolutely nothing to do with me. What made it worse is I am now dating the girl I was with the night after Case, which I'm sure made her pain worse.

"Case come on, can we please talk about this?" I pleaded.

She threw her purse down towards me. "You're fucking joking right? After all we've been through. I felt USED for sex and was blind to it Spencer. I wasn't enough so you decided to go fuck someone else the next night, saying those things to me and then trying to get with me for quick makeup sex? What a joke. I had FEELINGS. I started falling for you. But obviously you didn't know that. Don't worry about that anymore, though. I'm going home. I hope you're happy with your girlfriend, and she was fucking worth it cause we will never be the same." She spat and left.

My jaw hit the floor. I feel like I just got stabbed and I twisted the knife myself. Thank god this tour is over. I'm going home and going to sleep. Unfortunately, she lives with Ricky and he's probably going to beat the shit out of me, especially Chris when he hears about this.

I had accepted that I had made my bed and had to lay in it and try to move on from the Case situation. Now that I was done with touring for now I went to college.

  "No fucking way." I whispered to myself. It's been two months since Case and I spoke, and guess who just walked into one of my classes. I looked up at her and she gave me a cold glare. I knew she wouldn't talk to me so I wrote her a note and passed it down to her. She didn't even read it and threw it away. I deserved that. I'd do anything to have my friend back.

I can't get over how beautiful she looks, and know I shouldn't be thinking about that. I shook the thought and reminder myself that I'm still with Macie.