There's a hole in my heart nobody can see

We kept the pace but we're done pretending

  Two months ago, Gina was murdered. I almost backed out on the ToTT but no one would let me, and personally, I didn't want to be alone. Everyone has been so supportive of me, and checks on me all the time, especially Spence. We have an interesting relationship with each other.  As Ricky puts it, we just need to get a room and get it over with. Everyone can see we are both in love with each other, we just won't say it. We are both too stubborn. That's right, I've fallen in love (again) with my once sworn enemy, Spencer Charnas.
  "READY TO PARTY!" Spence yelling while skipping to catch up to me and put me in a head lock. I rolled my eyes and slightly bit him on the arm and he let go. "Ow!!!" Giving me a sour pout.

   I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm a vampire, sorry." Messing around with him.

  He bumped into me and we were side by side. "A sexy vampire." He said low and gave me a wink. I bit my cheek trying not to give into him and rolled my eyes, playfully pushing him away from me. "GET A ROOM!" The rest of the band started yelling at us.

   I still have nightmares about Gina. The crime scene. The funeral. Our childhood. I never stop thinking about it. But she wouldn't want me to give up my dream so I can sit in the house and cry for the rest of my life. I miss that girl so much. She was only 33 years old, and so much life to live. We were born the same month, same year. We always thought it was meant to be. She moved here when she was 16 and never looked back, occasionally run ins with her "family" trying to check in, when they were able to track down where she was.

  Ricky and I turned the corner into the green room to talk to me. "Are you sure you are up to this, Casey? You don't have to work. You can just support us." He said reassuringly.

"No. I need to work. I need to focus on something isn't Gina or-" He cut me off.

"Spencer?" I nodded in agreement. "Why can't you guys just get it over with and profess your love to one another? Everyone in the universe knows. I know it would boost your spirits a bit. You need a win, Case. This is a huge win." I rolled my eyes.

   "It's complicated." I stated.

   "Case, it's not complicated. He's been there for you for months now, every step of the way. I am tired of watching him following you around like a little puppy dog. Please for the sake of all of us, just tell him. You know damn well he feels the same." I sighed I mean, he's not wrong. I wanted to tell him the night Gina died and he stayed with me, but I had bigger things on my mind that night.

  I walked away to finish up the set. INK was up last tonight. "Hey Spence." I greeted him as he was finishing getting ready for the show.

  "Hey, there you are." He brightened up and gave me a hug.

   "Can we talk later after set?" I asked quietly. He's been super gentle around me. All the guys have, treating me like I'm super fragile. To be honest, I definitely still am fragile.

   He engulfed me in a hug and rested his head on mine. "For you, anything." He said, pulling away from me and making eye contact that made me feel like we were the only ones in the room. I broke his glance and wished him good luck.

- - - - - - 

   My heart is beating so fast, and she can probably feel it. I pulled away a bit and looked in her gorgeous blue eyes. They had more life in them than they have had in a few months. She's doing so much better, but still fragile. It's like time stood still and I just wanted to kiss her.

   Just tell her, Spencer. Or kiss her, do something.

  She broke our gaze and wished me luck. She wanted to talk to me about something later, and that sat in the back of my mind the entire show, trying not to think about it and put on a good show.

  After the set, I have never gone back to the bus so fast in my entire career after signing some autographs. Case was already there and cleaned up. "Get cleaned up and let's take a walk?" She asked and I nodded. It was towards the end of August, and still hot outside. I still threw a hoodie on and shorts. I love my fans, but I really didn't want to be interrupted by anyone tonight.

  It was silent for a few minutes, just enjoying the quiet outdoors. I wanted to beat her to the chase. I already knew. This was a long time coming for both of us. I just want to be with her. I'm tired of dancing around it. I stopped in my tracks and turned to her. There was no one around us except for our busses a short distance away, as it was about 12:30 in the morning. I'm just going to do it.

   "Case.." I started. She cut me off and said the three words so fast I could barely process.

  "Spencer, I'm in love with you." My mouth opened slightly. Kind of speechless because I wanted to tell her first.
  "Casey.. I've been wanting to tell you for so long.. I am so fucking in love with you, it's crazy."

- - - - - -

   I stood there a little in shock. I cannot believe we both finally said it. His lips crashed into mine, so many sparks and butterflies all at once. He pulled away and rested his forehead on mine.

   "Damn, it feels so good to finally say it." He whispered. I nodded my head with the largest, cheesiest grin I've ever had on my face. I haven't smiled like this in so long.

  "Shut up and kiss me again." I said to him.

   We were not far from the venue at all, we could still see everyone hanging out by the busses, but they couldn't see us. And if they could, I could care less. I'm on cloud nine, somewhere I haven't been in a long time.

  Spencer decided he was going to give me a piggy back ride back to the busses. This terrified me because he was not walking, he was running. I was so nervous, but laughing the entire way back. As we got back to the busses he put me down and put his hand in mine, approaching everyone else. All three bands looked at us with the goofiest smiles and started howling. I rolled my eyes and walked in the bus with Spencer in tow. The guys smacking the side of the bus a few times, all riled up.

   He backed me up against the door, and I reached for the lock and locked it so no one else could come in. He froze for a minute with his hands cupped on my cheeks and hazel eyes locked into mine.

   "You are so fucking beautiful, I cannot believe I ever let you go. I will not be doing that again. You're mine now." He whispered in my ear, which made me tilt my head back to let out a small moan I didn't even know I had in me. The past was not my concern at the moment. My concern was right here, right now with Spencer. He took one cupped hand down and ran it gently across my throat onto my chest, while the other hand went down to the small of my back.

   We were interrupted by banging on the same door I was leaning up against. "C'mon guys, I need to pee!" Joe yelled sending us into laughter. Knowing he was trying to cockblock us.

   "There are two other busses, asshole! We're busy!" Spencer yelled out, immediately picking up where we left off, not skipping a beat. He kissed down my neck and that sent me into a frenzy. I basically ripped my own shirt off and then his. He stopped to check me out. "Whatever you're thinking, you can do to me." I smirked. We wasted no time and couldn't even make it to the bunk bed. I am pretty sure everyone heard us. We wanted each other, and we wanted each other now.

  We ended up in his bunk after, just lying there together. I started to get up to get dressed, however Spencer pulled me back down so I was lying on his bare chest.

  "Spence, we have to get dressed and let them back on the bus eventually." I laughed. He responded with pouty face and was tucking hair that's in front of my eyes, behind my ears.

   "I just wanted to tell my beautiful girlfriend that I love her." He grinned.