The Lost Crow

Chapter 6

Life seemed to settle awhile. Things had calmed down all around and now the club was looking forward to Piney coming home. I was still keep my distance, but after what happened, Chibbs began coming around me again. We never spoke but everyday he made sure to bring me food while I worked and seemed to check up on me through out the day. Jax was still the only one I had told about what happened, but I didn't know it had been Chibbs you had found the note. While he didn't know the specifics he knew at one point I had been Hydra's captive. My nightmares were still happening but they were becoming less intense and with some advice from Wanda I was able to wake myself before a nightmare could take hold on me. At the end of the day I made my way to my dorm, not realizing Chibbs was tailing me. He quietly waited for me to enter my room and begin my nightly routine before making his way to his room for the night. Every one noticed but me how Chibbs had begun building a new routine that now centered around me. I settled quickly into my bed humming a lullaby that Jamie used to sing to me when Yelena was blipped. It was one Natasha had taught him, the one they taught me when I was finally rescued from Hydra. Sleep found me slowly and the darkness swallowed my mind as I silently hoped for a dreamless night. 

Dream

We sat facing each other on some rocks near the edge of the cliff. We both knew what had to happen in order to get the soul stone. We were both stalling, trying to come up with a way to make sure the other survived. We knew we would both be thinking the same plan just not the same person. Minutes went by as we both committed to our own plans of what would happen next. We looked at each other at the same time and smiled. "You know how it has to be little dove," Natasha said, using the nickname she gave me not long after the team was able to save me from Hydra. I nodded at her and stood, making small deliberate movements to prepare. Natasha mirrored me as she did the same before we turned back to each other now standing a few feet apart. I couldn't let her do this and I knew she would try, but she had spent so many years trying to make up for the red on her ledger. She knew she couldn't wipe it away, so she spent years doing as much good as she could, but never receiving the credit she deserved. "I want you to know how grateful I am for all that you did for me. You showed me hope and proof that we may not be able to erase what had been done, but we can come back from it and do good in this world," I said to her activating a small explosive that would knock her back, giving me the chance I needed. She smirked at me easily picking up on what I was doing. She was the one who trained me after all. "Sorry but you don't get to do that," she said still wearing her signature smirk that everyone knew. 

We both threw the explosives we had and the explosions knocked us both back. I landed on the ground feeling my breath get pushed away, causing me to gasp as I moved to stand. I noticed Natasha starting to run towards the cliff and I fired a shot at her feet off to her right with my widow's bite sending her back away from the cliff. I sprinted past her giving her a smile as I passed by her. I jumped from the cliff and closed my eyes not seeing Natasha fly over the cliff  right behind me. My eyes snapped open when I felt something hit my back and heard the familiar sound of a grapple hook. I grabbed Natasha's wrist before she could fly past me and held tight with my flesh hand. I know my grip wouldn't hold long so I tried to disengage the grapple but couldn't. "Damn it Nat," I screamed as tears started to fall. I felt her hand go slack and quickly tried to lift her so I could grab her with my vibranium arm. My flesh arm wasn't strong enough though and Natasha's wrist began to slip. "Hey, hey, its ok," she said in almost a whisper making me still, "Its ok, promise me something." I nodded as tears poured down my face falling on to hers. "Promise you'll stop trying to sacrifice yourself for everyone else. Live ok, promise?" she almost begged me as her wrist slipped further. "Its ok, its ok," she whispered and then finally I lost my grip. I screamed as I watched her fall and I felt the agonizing pain of loss as I watched her land. A primal scream ripped through me even shaking Red Skull to the core. A bright white flash happened and suddenly I as kneeling in some water. There was a sunset casting an orange glow over everything as I lifted my hand from the water I could now see a glow of yellow coming from my hand. I opened my hand to see the soul stone there in my palm and I felt my heart break even more. I pushed something on my wrist and was quickly sucked back to my timeline, falling to my knees as everyone began to question me about where Natasha was. 

**End of Dream -- I know I know we didn't have to relive that trauma I sowee -- ***

I sprung up gasping for air as I felt my face wet from my tears. I hadn't had that dream in a while and it was taking longer than normal for me to recover. Once I had finally caught my breath I heard my phone buzz and I looked to find a text from Yelena. I realized why I had the dream. It had been a year since that day. I responded quickly to Yelena and jumped up quickly grabbing some clothes. It was still early so I was hoping I would miss everyone and be able to get away without having someone tail me. I slipped out my door too focused to hear Chibbs open his door. He watched me as I slipped quietly down the hall and out to the bar. He looked at me oddly and quickly decided to follow me. I slipped outside and as usual I grabbed the closest bike, which happened to be Clay's this time and walked it a little ways down before finally getting on and speeding off. Chibbs had gone straight for a car I hadn't seen yet, knowing I would instantly recognize his bike. He followed from a distance and because I was focusing so hard to make sure I didn't break down while driving, I didn't notice him following me. I drove for hours seeming to be able to avoid every cop as I sped down the highway. Still some how I didn't notice the speeding car that was tailing me. I finally made it to a town and made my way to the local cemetery. I made my way to where I knew I would find Yelena and pulled over at the bottom of a hill. When a car pulled up next to me I looked over to see Chibbs and I let out a growl. I started cussing in Russian and I could hear Yelena's steps as she made her way over to me. She giggled slightly once she saw Chibbs and new he was keeping to his word. He had promised her and Jamie he would personally keep an eye on me. She said something and I gave her a look that said not to start with me. "Might as well follow us, you will anyway," it was the first time I had spoken to him since the incident. I heard his quiet chuckle as the three of us walked up the hill. Chibbs followed behind us as we made our way over to a grave. In front of it you could see the pictures of people who stood next to the woman who had saved them at some point or another. Little teddy bears were scattered in between the pictures and the flowers. I plucked a dead leaf from the top of the grave and kneeled next to it with Yelena. We placed our heads against the grave and both let out the same whistle. Everything stayed silent for a moment, solidifying for us that she really was gone and this time we didn't have a way to bring her back. Chibbs watched on in silence, respecting our space and time for this. He may not know who she was necessarily, but he could see how much she meant to us and based on the pictures to others as well. 

After awhile and some visiting with Yelena, Chibbs and I started making our way back to Charming. It was gonna be a long drive so once it was well into the night Chibbs made me pull over and we discussed getting a hotel. More like he told me the next motel wasn't far and we are going to stop for the night and pick it back up in the morning. I didn't fight with him on it not really having the energy to care and that I did need to stop for the night. About 30 minutes later we made it to the motel and Chibbs went to pay for a room while I waited outside. He came back and led me to where our room was. I grabbed my bag from the car and followed Chibbs to the door. He unlocked it and we stepped into what most stereotypical run down motels look like. There was one bed and a couch with the tv in front of it. "I'll take the couch," Chibbs offered pretty quickly wanting me to sleep as good as possible since I would still be driving the bike tomorrow. I nodded before heading to the bathroom ready to wash the sweat off of my body. Once done I put on my shorts and tank top and walked back out, not noticing the way Chibbs looked me up and down before heading to the bathroom next. I climbed into bed and sent Yelena a check in text before getting comfortable and closing my eyes. Chibbs walked out and saw me already laying with my eyes closed. He knew I wasn't asleep yet, but left me be anyway. I heard him settle on the couch and then clicking sounds as he sent a text on his phone. He snapped his phone closed and looked back over at me. For the first time in awhile he saw me completely relaxed as I quickly fell asleep. He had never seen me look so at peace but he also knew it wouldn't last. We would go back and the mask would go back on. Despite how closed off I was to everyone else, Chibbs could read me like a book and knew once we were back I would probably spend the next few weeks, drowning myself in my work. He would have to make sure everyone knew to keep their distance this week especially since he knew I would easily snap at anyone who looked at me wrong. We both slept peacefully through the night and the next morning we began making our way again to Charming. As we got closer I felt myself put my mask back up that I would hope hide what I was really feeling right now. I glanced behind me and smiled as I saw Chibbs following me closely. I was beginning to find it harder and harder to keep my distance, but the fear that was always there in the back of my mind reminded me why I had to.