Playgirl - Tokio Hotel - Tom Kaulitz

13 ~ stupid stupid stupid

my eyes flutter open to the sun shining in them, making me turn over and nuzzle my face into the pillow.

that is not a pillow.

i open my eyes to find Tom infront of me, still sleeping soundly with his mouth slightly parted and his arms resting around my waist. we're cuddling. i never really took tom to be the kind of guy that cuddles, you know, with all his one night stands but oh well.

i carefully pry his arms off of me, slowly standing up to try not and wake him but it fails when i hear him groan behind me. i turn around and give a small smile at his squinted eyes. "sorry, i didn't mean to wake you up" i whisper, and he shakes his head while he blinks a few times to try and wake ip.

"it's fine, what time is it?" his voice is slightly raspy and deeper then usual and it takes all of me to not let my face heat up. i grab my phone and read the time off to him. "9:15" he nods and goes on his own phone as i walk out of his room and close the door behind me.

i walk into the kitchen to already see bill awake, sipping on coffee. i smile at him as i make my way to the fridge and grab a sprite (my fav soda fr fr) "morning" bill said, and i mumble one back

"what's the plan for today?" i ask, opening the can and taking a sip "well georg and gustav already left to go visit their parents" i hide my frown behind my drink. the boys always visit their parents after a tour, and i either stay here or go out with friends. it makes me sad i don't have a relationship with my parents.

"and our mom was gonna come by here, if you want to stay?" i think about for a moment before remembering my mom called me, and i sigh. "no uhm, i actually am gonna go visit my mom" i say quietly, avoiding his now shocked and curious gaze.

"you're gonna visit your mom?" he asks, as if he had to confirm he wasn't hearing things. i laugh a little and nod, setting my can down as i open my phone. "yeah, she called me a few days ago. i'm actually gonna call her now, i'll be back" i say, glancing at him as he nods before i run up stairs, my bags already back in my room.

i sit on the edge of my bed and mess with my nails nervously as the line rings. "Evelyn?" i hate the way i smile at her voice. "hey, mom. i'm done with tour, i was wondering if i could come over today?" i ask. i don't know if i hope she says yes or she says no, but i hope something. "of course honey, i would love that." her sweet and loving tone sends a spear through my heart.

we talk for a little while more before i tell her i'll be over in an hour, tearing apart my still packed suitcase for a simple outfit as my mind races about all the ways this could go. i throw on a random shirt and baggy ripped jeans, adding a flannel as i sit down to do some light makeup.

(slay fit be so fr)

my black platformed converse stomp down the stairs as i rush down them. the car ride there is 30 minutes and i've already been getting ready for 25 and i cant find my fucking car keys.

as i stop at the bottom of the stairs i see bill and tom on the couch with their mom in between them, and i smile at the women. "ms Kaulitz it's so wonderful to see you again" i say, not looking at her as i glance around for my keys

"and you dear. are you alright?" she asks and i just barely nod as bill stifles a laugh at my state. "i'm just looking for my damn keys that have disappeared from thin fucking air" i say frustratedly, looking around on the counter and tables.

"a language i can understand please?" tom asks, and i can hear bills giggle as i send him a glare. "keys, cant find my car keys, i needed to leave like ten minutes ago" i say as i look at him, smiling at the sight of the boys with their mom. butterflies swim in my stomach from nerves of seeing my own mom.

"take my car" he offers, pulling his own keys from his pocket and holding them out to me. me and bills eyes widen in surprise but i don't have time to dwell i need to go. "thank you, you're the best" i mumble, taking the keys and kissing his cheek, leaving a small pink lipstick stain. "nice to see you again ms kaulitz!" i yell out behind me as i rush out the door.

~~~~~~~~~ (after her moms house cuz idk)

i hit the wheel repeatedly as tears threaten to leave my eyes, rain pattering against the windows of the car in the empty parking lot i'm parked in.

"stupid stupid stupid" i whisper over and over as i lay my head on the wheel, letting the tears fall down my cheeks as rapidly as the rain does the car.

i've been gone for awhile, long enough for bill to tell me his mom left, and the street lights will come on any minute, but i cant seem to bring myself to go back home.

home. my home is with the band and the boys, not with my stupid no good mother who doesn't care. i take a deep breath, using my sleeve to wipe away my tears and smudged mascara, starting the drive home that's only ten more minutes.

i walk inside, but entirely drenched, but my flannel sticks to my arms and my hair is damp and frizzy. i'm no longer sad, instead absolutely fuming at myself and my mother. i quickly pull my wet shoes off at the door, tossing toms keys on the table by the front door as i ignore the two boys looking at each other and then me before talking as i run up the stairs and into my room, slamming and locking the door.

~~~~~~~~~

i'm leaning against my wall with my eyes closed as i play my guitar, connected to my amp and turned up louder then needed. i'm playing a new song i wrote, Night shift (by Lucy Dacus), which is very heavily dependent on the guitar.

i'm intruppted by obnoxious knocks on my door, and when i try to ignore them they knock again, making me groan as i put down my guitar before opening the door to see tom there. not surprising.

"what do you want tom?" i ask, not giving him space to walk into my room. "i just came to check on you" he says softly, and it tics me off even more. "why?" i question, crossing my arms over my chest and that question seems to surprise him.

"what?" he asks, looking over my face to read my facial expressions. "why? why do you keep doing this? all of sudden you care so much and you're always here and just why tom?"

"i don't- i- um-"

"i think i'm in love with you."

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what 😦 finally progressing the story and i have family in state this week so i will post less/ not till after monday 6/17! love you all bye!! <3