Don't Tread On Me // Kirk Hammett

8. Overwhelming Confusion

March 22nd, 1996

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Kirk's Point of View

It's been about a week since that stupid fucking lunch, and I just can't get my conversation with Aurora out of my head.

I haven't seen, nor heard from or about her since then. I've overheard James on the phone with her a few times, but that for some reason wasn't enough for me.

She's all I've been able to think about for the past few days, and it's driving me up the fucking wall.

I felt like a dick after she gave me a slight, explanation of why she acts the way she does. I mean, here I was thinking she was a bitch for no reason.

Now I just feel terrible. She didn't even have to go into detail about anything, it was enough to shut my ass up from shock. It's more than likely cause of the front she puts up, but she was the last person I expected to go through shit like that.

The last words she spoke to me, were also ringing through my head as if they were haunting me.

"You can hate me if you want, just leave me the fuck alone."

The second those words rolled out of her mouth, I felt sick in a sense.

I thought I fucking hated this girl. Hell, I wanted to fucking hate her. Yet ever since I've met her, I've been weirdly drawn to her presence. Maybe I'll admit I was even slightly attracted to her, but these past few days have been hell.

I don't know why I feel this way, and I hate every part of it. I try to hate her, yet I always have the urge to try to subtly help her out, I find myself constantly talking about her, even if it's rambling about how much I supposedly hate her.

I haven't even know her for too terribly wrong, yet she already has me in a constant mental battle with my feelings.

I swore to myself I'd never seriously get involved with someone again, then this girl comes barging into my life one day.

I still don't know what's happening, I'm stuck in the middle of just continuing on with our mutual hatred, or attempting to break her walls down and get to actually know her.

I partially tried to comfort my newly developing feelings, by telling myself it was maybe just a pity thing.

I've never felt so confused in my life. I felt like a twelve year old again, getting his first middle school crush. What the fuck is this, what am I supposed to do?

I wound up getting too agitated with my overwhelming confusion, and returned to the only thing that ever shut my brain off.

I went over to my underwear drawer, momentarily digging through it. I started to panic a bit, that was until I finally felt the small plastic zip-loc bag.

I pulled it out of the drawer, to see the old bag folded up along with the white powder that was sealed inside of it.

I slightly frowned to myself, as I poured a portion of the powder onto the top of my dresser. I took a card out of my pocket, along with a dollar I felt in there. I used the card to sweep the powder into two thin little lines, then rolled the dollar up, quickly snorting both of them.

I threw my head back, momentarily sniffling before shoving the bag back down into my underwear drawer.

I sighed with slight relief, knowing that my brain would shut off in about five to ten minutes.

I lazily threw the card and dollar on top of my dresser, shortly after I heard loud laughing coming from downstairs.

I grimaced and pinched the bridge of my nose, as I remembered the guys had all planned to come over and drink at my place tonight.

Son of a bitch.

I told them all I quit coke back in 93' now I'm gonna be obviously coked out by the time I go downstairs.

Oh fuck it, I'll just drink to try and cover it up.

I swiftly, yet subtly stumbled my way down the stairs. Immediately seeing Lars and Jason at my kitchen table laughing and drinking, while James was on the phone talking to somebody.

I sighed irritably as I began stumbling towards my fridge. As I opened the fridge door, to take out my bottle of Jack, I heard James say her name.

"Aurora, I'll help you out tomorrow night. We're all at Kirk's tonight." James sighed heavily into the phone.

I started feeling a tinge of jealousy, for whatever that same unknown reason was.

I immediately whipped my head around at the mention of her name, seeing James hang up the phone and turn around to be met with me staring at him.

I awkwardly cleared my throat, and quickly began downing the bottle of Jack resting in my hand.

I awkwardly glance back over at James, who cracked an ornery, knowing smirk at me.

"What asshole?" I blurted out, whipping the excess liquor from my lips with my sleeves.

"You were fockin' drooling' again that's what." Lars chuckled, taking another sip of his drink. "Greens not your color, man!" He laughed to himself, yet again.

James also giggled to himself, slightly nodding in agreement with Lars.

"Fuck off!" I spat, snatching the bottle of Jack, and heading over towards my couch, proceeding to flop down on it.

A/N - Sorry if this chap isn't great, it's just a filler and I wrote it on the spot lmfao. I didnt plan it out this time so sorry if it's messy!