Don't Tread On Me // Kirk Hammett

15. Still A Sweetheart

May 26th, 1996

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Kirk bursted through the back exit doors, dragging me along behind him. To say I was pissed off was an understatement.

We were now standing in a large alleyway, that sat behind the club were previously inside of.

He stood across from me, keeping a loose grip on my arm. He stared at me with an irritated expression in his eyes.

"What the fuck is your problem?" I snapped, staring up at him.

He froze for a moment, his angered expression dropped to a more guilty one. He sighed heavily, as he slowly slid his hand off of my arm.

"What did you need to talk to me about, that was so fucking important that you had to fucking drag me out here?" I continued shouting.

He opened his mouth to say something, but quickly shut it, and looked down at his shoes.

"I don't know." He mumbled lowly.

I clenched my jaw, getting so irritated to the point where I just wanted to scream and cry.

I don't understand this man at all, not even in the slightest.

"What." I stated bluntly, tilting my head to the side.

"I don't fucking know, okay!" He snapped, running his hand down his face.

I scoffed in disbelief. He seriously thinks i'm fucking stupid or something.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself a bit.

"Kirk, you obviously know if you were that fucking mad about it. So just tell me, that way I can go back inside." I spoke as calmly as I could, crossing my arms.

He just huffed, shoving his hands into his pockets, and looking back down at the floor.

"I don't fucking understand you." I muttered, letting out a heavy sigh.

"What do you mean?" He questioned, furrowing his eyebrows.

"You're just confusing! One minute I think you hate me, and the next I think that maybe, just maybe you don't! I don't even get why you hate me either." I cried out frustratedly.

I'm not one to cry much, especially in-front of people. I was just so frustrated in this moment, and I truly wish I didn't understand why this bothered me as much as it did.

He frowned at me, before letting out a heavy sigh, "I don't hate you, Rori."

"You don't?" I furrowed my brows in confusion, looking up at him.

Kirk shook his head.

"No, not at all. Not even a little bit." He spoke softly.

"Then why do you act like you do, Kirk? Do you know shitty that's made me feel?" I asked, harshly wiping my teary eyes.

"I can't explain it right now." He spoke quietly, his voice barely a whisper.

He just looked at me for a moment, his big brown eyes full of regret, and guilt.

I don't know what it was, but as we were staring at one a other. I saw this other look in his eyes, and that was the moment I knew he broke.

Before I could process it any further, he pulled me into a firm hug. It caught me by surprise, and I hesitated for a moment, but I eventually returned the gesture.

"I'm so sorry." He muttered, squeezing me a bit tighter.

"It's okay." I sighed, lightly rubbing his back.

He slightly pulled away, to where we could now see each others faces.

"No, it's not." He shook his head, then momentarily just looked at me.

"You wanna tell me why you dragged me outta there now?" I breathily chuckled, wiping my eyes with my arm.

"Seeing you with Dave pissed me off." He spoke casually, shrugging it off.

I paused for a moment, but decided against saying something.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly, putting his hand on my arm.

I gently smiled at him, and nodded.

He smiled back at me, and threw his arm around my shoulder.

"Alright, let's go get drunk." He giggled to himself, as he led us back into the building.

I did it.

The big macho, douchebag act Kirk put on around me, had finally dropped.

I had finally torn down his walls. I don't know how I did it, but I did.

I finally understood what James had meant when he told me 'he's still in there'.

I on the other hand, still had a long way to go before I could completely be open with him.

but Kirk, was still undoubtedly a sweetheart.

I don't really know where I stand with him now, but hopefully he'll eventually tell me why he did what he did.

We can really only go forward from here, but how far it'll go is what I'm unsure of.