Hate Me Now, Understand Me Later

Chapter 7

Skylar

I don't know what happened between Sanai and I between now and Friday afternoon but whatever it is has ya girl swerving ya boy something terrible. She aint replied to my text messages, answered my phone calls or come by to see me on Sunday.

All weekend I've been trying to figure out what I did.

Or maybe she's just super busy like she said she was. She had to be joking though, professors be waiting until like the last month of the semester to hand out a gang of work and last time I checked, she didn't say anything about having a job.

Imma get to the bottom of it as soon as I get to Dr. Lee's class.

I grabbed my gym bag and headed out my dorm. Depending on how this convo with Sanai goes, a nigga might need a stress relieving shootout.

I got over to the other side of campus in no time. Luckily, when I walked into the classroom Sanai was in there by herself. It tripped me up when I saw that she was no longer sitting in the back row where we usually sat. It lowkey made me kinda mad. What the heck did I do?

I walked over to where she was seated and dropped my gym bag on the floor.

"So what's up?" I asked her.

"Nothing much." She said, continuing to act as if she was reading for class.

"Don't play with me, Sanai." I said.

"What?" she spat with an attitude.

"What you mean what? Is yo phone broke or something? You aint answered my calls or text and you didn't come by on Sunday." I spat back.

"I was busy." She said nonchalantly.

"That works for Sunday but that doesn't answer why you aint been answering your phone. You was updating your Twitter." I reasoned.

"It's called a laptop." She said.

"You got a smart ass mouth." I said , my anger rising.

"I'm an educated woman. I'm licensed to have one." She said, coldly.

"You know what...eff it. I'm out." I said, grabbing my stuff before heading out the door.

"Wait!" I heard her call out before I was completely out the room.

I paused because one part of me wanted to leave but the other wanted to know what was up with her. Why was she through with me all of a sudden.

I walked back into the room but stood a few feet away from her.

We sat in silence as minutes passed.

"I'm scared." She admitted.

"Scared of what?" I asked with a frown.

"That you may hurt me." She replied quietly.

"What reason do I have to hurt you? What would make you think something like that?" I fired off questions at her.

"Well remember what you did to Tanis-"

"Man forget her! What she got to do with us?! Yeah I did her dirty but I ain't do her no more dirty than she did herself. She was waiting for me up in the VIP at my party. First thing she said was that she wanted to come back to my place. What dude you know woulda passed up sex that was handed to him? I was drunk and high as hell but I was being truthful with her. She a hoe! A straight up hoe! And she ain't the first one I did like that. Since we airing out my dirty laundry, let's put it all out there. I like sex! I like relationships too but relationships ain't never come easy for me. Every chick from high school up until now only wanted to be attached to me because of the notoriety. That's it! Nothing deeper than that. I put my heart into one chick right before I got outta high school and you wanna know what happened? She played the hell outta me. She tried to trap me with a freaking baby. I took her to the clinic and sure enough she was pregnant with my baby. The next time I saw her she wasn't pregnant anymore. She aborted my fucking baby! She aborted my child! For no reason! True, I didn't want the baby but after I heard the heartbeat I was attached. That shit haunts me to this day. So to this day I couldn't give a fuck about a hoe!" I said as a tear forced its way outta my eye.

"But in my eyes you're far from a hoe. You're deeper than that. I've never connected with a girl like you. We connected on a level that had nothing to do with me playing sports or being in the spotlight. And I want that...but it's clear to me that you don't because you letting everybody but yourself affect your decision making." I said. I just stood there and watched her as tears flooded her face.

I grabbed my stuff, walked over to her, wiped the tears from her eyes with the pads of my thumbs and kissed her on the forehead. I let my lips linger before I pulled away and walked out the classroom.

I heard her call my name again but this time, I wasn't turning back.

Sanai

I watched him walk out. As I called for him, I knew that he wasn't gonna come back.

After all that he revealed to me I felt super bad. I judged him before I got to know him. That wasn't fair to him.

Once I checked my e-mail and found out that class was cancelled in the first place, I grabbed my stuff and headed to where I knew he would be.

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I walked over to the gym door and saw him through the circular window. I hesitated but I knew that I had to go in there and talk to him.

When I walked in he acted as if I wasn't even there.

"I'm sorry, ok!" I yelled out. He just kept bouncing the ball.

"Skylar!" I yelled. He steadily ignored which caused my anger to rise.

As he shot a free throw, I ran under the basket and grabbed his rebound.

"Gimme my ball, dawg." He said, walking toward me and reaching for the ball.

"No. Talk to me." I said snatching the ball away from his reach.

"Whatever, man. Keep it." He said before walking over to the bleachers and packing up his stuff.

I threw the ball to the other side of the gym and followed him. I snatched his gym bag out of his hands.

"This is what you're not going to do! I sat there and listened to you so you're going to sit here and listen to me" I instructed, looking him right in the eyes. I was pissed at this point and I wasn't backing down.

" I have every right to be scared to enter into a relationship with you. Your rep is not the best so what did you really expect? Now I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance and that I didn't hear your side first before I jumped to conclusions. And I can only imagine what it must feel like to lose your unborn. But know that in the short time that we've been talking, I've developed an emotional connection with you. So as I watched you stand there and tell the most heartbreaking story, my heart broke for you. It broke with yours. If you're not happy then I can't be happy Skylar. So that connection that you mentioned, I feel that connection too baby and I want it to get deeper but...but..."

"But what Sanai?" He asked.

"But I'm scared of the notoriety." I admitted truthfully.

"That's why I'm gon be right by your side. I'm gon help you through all of it. You gotta give it a chance though." He pleaded.

I nodded my head in agreement.

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