Hate Me Now, Understand Me Later

Chapter 12

A/N: Hey ya'll! Sorry for the delay with the update. I wanted you all's opinion on something. I was thinking of entering Joyful Storm into the Watty's 2015  Awards. I think it has the most potential. Do ya'll agree? 

The catch is that I wrote it last year and in order for it to be eligible I have to publish three new chapters. So here's the deal.

(1) I need ya'll to promote Joyful Storm with yall lives!

(2) I will be editing Joyful Storm today. While I'm doing that I need ya'll to revisit Joyful Storm and tell me where those three chapters should be added. (I.e. What parts need more explanation...) Those three chapters do not have to be consecutive and they can be wherever yall want them to be. I'll be taking all suggestions into consideration.

(3) Make sure you vote and comment on everything that moves you! I really want people to recognize the hidden gem that yall gave yall undying support too.

(4) Let's get started! Enjoy this update though first!

Skylar

I didn't go see her. I didn't go see Sanai at all and I don't feel that bad about it. I'm not about to cross the boundaries that are in place and then end up hurting her in the long run anyway.

I hope she wasn't too mad at me I thought to myself as I waited for her to pick up my call.

"Hello?" She answered. The sound of her voice did something to my body.

"What are you doing?" I asked her.

"I'm at the grocery store. I'll be at the gym in the next fifteen minutes." She said before I could even as her to come through.

I shot about fifty free throws before I heard the gym door open. I turned around and saw Sanai walking onto the gym floor. As she got closer I could tell that she was a little pissed.

"Wassup, ma?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around her waist.

She just stood there.

"So you mad?" I asked her.

"Yup." She answered.

"Whatever man." I said, after smacking my lips. "How you gon get mad at me because I don't want to hurt you?"

"That's not why I'm mad. I'm mad because deep down, I don't feel like you're as attracted to me like you say or that you even want to be with me."

"What are you talking about?" I asked. She was pissing me off by questioning how I really felt about her.

" I get it. You lack self-control but you don't possess enough to even just spend an evening watching a movie with me? Or if that's the case then let's go to a public place. But oh I forgot, you can't do that either! It's like you don't want to be seen in public with me."

"That's not true, I invited you to a party almost every weekend." I defended myself.

"Oh well let me correct that. You don't want to be seen in the light of day with me. And that's another thing! You don't compromise. If it ain't what Skylar wants to do then we don't do it. It's unfair Skylar. I don't feel wanted."

"How do you think it makes me feel when you don't tell your friends about me? We've been in this relationship for four months now and they still don't know! I'm sick of being a secret Sanai. Are you embarrassed of me?"

"Are you serious?! Do your friends know about me? When you recognize that I'm just as much a secret for you as you are for me, the better off we'll both be."

I just stared at her, conflicted. Deep down I wanted to put this girl on a pedestal. I want to scream from the rooftops that Sanai Gibson is my girl, my right hand, the one that completes. But I know that this is never going to work.

"I can't do this Sanai." I said finally. The look that spread across her face was nothing short of pure hurt.

"What do you mean?" She asked. I watched as her eyes watered.

"I can't do us. I don't want us to continue to try to force something that's never going to fit. At this point in my life, I'm trying to wild out to cover up for all the pain that I've experienced. When I found out that there was a possibility that I was going to become a father, I knew that my player days were over . It wasn't gon be no more parties, having sex with random chicks or chilling with the guys. It was gon be me working or at home with my child. But when that was taken from me, although I was mad, I saw that I had another chance. Another chance to be immature. I'm not ready to man up yet." I confessed to her truthfully.

"But, I'm not asking you to be anybody but yourself." She reasoned through her pain.

"You don't have to ask. The way that you carry yourself screams: 'I'm a mature young woman looking for a mature young man.' It's guys out there that's ready for that but at this time, I'm not."

She just stared at me through the river of tears flowing from her eyes. She shook her head before running out of the gym.

"Sanai I'm sorry!" I yelled out after her.

I shook my head. My goal was not to hurt her and I did it anyway.