Hate Me Now, Understand Me Later

Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I know the chapter is short. I don't write from an outline. OITNB said it best:

"Suzanne, tell us about your process."
"I think of shit and write it down."💭📝
#Yassssssss

Skylar

"Sanai I need your help."

"With what?" She asked.

"With the essay. This ish is hard. " I complained.

I had been trying to work on our poetry essay all week and I still wasn't done. I keep confusing myself.

"Do you have any of it typed up?" She asked me.

"Just the first part." I told her.

"Well take your laptop with you when you go hoop. I'll stop by and try to help you." She offered.

"Ok cool. I'll see you in a little while." I told her before hanging up.

Ever since our little confessional Sanai and I have been better. We try to be honest. But I feel like there's still parts that each of us are holding back. It's like I can tell that Sanai is not fully committed to the thought of us being together, like she has some reservations or something. I guess the only way to figure it out is if I talk to her.

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"See boo, you had it the whole time. You didn't need my help." She commended me with a smile.

"I guess I did." I replied with a smile.

"Quit doubting yourself. You're smarter than what you give yourself credit for." She chastised me.

I just looked at her and smiled. She was so upbuilding.

"Soooo you want to come to this party with me?" I asked her as we packed up our things.

"No, I'm good." She said.

"Why not?" I asked her, kind of irritated at this point. This was the third weekend in a row that I've asked her to go with me to a party and she keep turning me down.

"Because that's not my scene." She stated simply.

"Why you being stuck-up?" I spat.

"How am I being stuck-up for not wanting to go and hang around a bunch a people that I don't have nothing in common with?" She snapped back.

"No you mean people that you look down on." I corrected her.

"I don't look down on anyone." She defended herself.

"Yes you do. Its all in the way you say it. 'That's not my scene'." I said, imitating her. "You act all Westside when you live in the heart of the hood."

"Whatever. Just because I live in the hood, that doesn't mean that I have to act like I live in the hood. And its quite foolish and stereotypical to assign a specific way of life to a certain group of people." She said, before slinging her purse over her shoulder and leaving out the gym.

I watched her walk away. I wasn't trying to hurt her feelings. I was just stating facts.

Sanai

Skylar made me sooo mad! Tears clouded my eyes as I walked out the gym but I refused to let them fall.

I just hate it when people say that I act like I'm better than everybody else because I don't. How can I be at fault because I was raised differently?

This is not the first time he said that either. It hurts my feelings, to be honest.

When I reached my dorm, Kai was seated on the couch in the living room.

"What's up Sanai?" She greeted me with a smile.

"Nothing much. What you doing?" I asked her, pushing my issues with Skylar to the back of my mind.

"Resting up before I hit this party tonight." She answered. I inwardly rolled my eyes.

"Cool." I said before making my way to the bedroom that we share.

Before I entered completely, I stopped and turned around.

"Kai, do I act like I think I'm better than everybody else?" I asked her seriously.

She looked at me strangely before answering.

"I mean you can be opinionated at times and you do carry yourself differently from most of us. But that doesn't make you stuck up. That makes you different. That makes you real. People that willingly go along with the views of everybody else and believe that everything in life is positive are not living realistically. You're a great person Sanai. Don't let anyone tell you differently." She encouraged me with a smile.

"Thanks." I said quietly, before making my way to the room.