Sadie, Someday...

Chapter 1 - The Chase For Silence

Chapter 1
The Chase For Silence

A/N - Picture on the side is of Sadie (:

“She sits up high, surrounded by the sun, One million branches and she loves every one, Mom and dad, did you search for me? I've been up here so long I'm going crazy..” ~ Hold On Till May – Pierce the Veil

Cascades of red.

Deep reds and dark auburns were all I saw.

The voices sang melodies through my mind, chirps of reminders and notes on improvements. It was like an ongoing film that I couldn’t turn off. The play strip just kept circling, permanently reminding me that this was what life was. This was who I was. I was weak. I was frail. I wasn’t strong enough to handle the things that were there to make you strong.

I always wondered where my wrong turn had been. What hidden sign had I missed along the way? People my age were busy with parties on the weekends and buying shore houses to share for their summer before senior year. But I was focused on the imperfections dotting across the mirror as my deep brown eyes glared at each point along my body. With the gray metal indenting imprints into my skin, the blood just dripped from the fresh cut. Another imperfection. But this time, it was something I could control.

If the pain wasn’t in my heart, it could be on my skin. Or so I told myself as I brought the blade across my pale skin. It seemed almost…glowing as it lied against my snowy white skin. For years, I never imagined being in this position. Physical and emotional pain just a reminder that I was still here, still dealing with the things I felt that I couldn’t control. I just wanted things to fast forward to the part where I could be happy, where I was creating a life that was worth living. I wanted a moment of silence, when the voices stopped and my thoughts came to a pause…just for a while.

Then maybe I would know how to be normal.

“Sadie, dinner!” my mother called from the hallway, tapping twice on my locked door.

Her knock startled me, the blade quickly being thrown in the dresser draw. My eyes darted around the room for a way to stop the blood, to keep the secrets still hidden and unknown. Placing a hand over the cut, I quietly opened my bedroom door and glanced around for anyone in a few feet’s view. Taking a tightening, deep breath, I tiptoed to the bathroom and clicked the door shut behind me while I worked with the cut. I did the best that I could, making do with some toilet paper and cold water.

As I worked to cover my secrets, my eyes accidentally slipped to the mirror above the sink. My efforts for the cut had been frozen as my eyes ran over my tired and anxious features. Hidden beneath bags and large lids were two deep brown eyes, seemingly begging for help. My natural waves ran down my back in a tangled mess, meeting the middle of back. Beneath the somewhat large, baggy clothing and long sleeves was a body that needed to be covered. Eating dinner probably wasn’t a good idea, seeing as how the diet I was forcing myself to stick on didn’t include steak and potatoes.

I was repulsed, disgusted, and eager to look away. The kids who had taunted me for years were right. There was nothing close to beautiful lying beneath these features, nothing eye catching and jaw drop worthy.

She should spend less time eating and more time hiding her face with a paper bag.

How does she even walk out of the house looking like that?

I can practically see her veins through her skin. Way to go, Casper.

Caden’s too hot for her. Why does he even waste his time on her?