Sadie, Someday...

Chapter 17 - Single-Noted Sounds

Chapter 17
Single-Noted Sounds

“And this is my last remaining filter on my last remaining words, It’s leaving the taste of something bitter on my tongue, I’m leaving a letter full of reasons along with a line that starts to blur, Into a page that says you faded way too young, Cause you’re leaving something short of innocent.” ~ Any Other Heart – Go Radio

Everything was an echo.

I was completely encased in a soul shivering silence, refusing to come back up from the deep waters I was drowning in. Nothing else was registering except the damned beeping from his machine.

It was cold.

Too cold.

My head was just bobbing above the rippling waters. My lungs refused to take in any air. It was his air, the air that he needed. My body wouldn’t move. My arms were lying limp as I sat on the floor in the hallway, nowhere near his room. They wouldn’t let me go near his room.

Mason was pacing the hall, his hand running over his hair and face…over and over and over. I wanted him to be still, just sit in the stillness of the world with me. He was crying. I wasn’t. I ran out of tears long ago. He was talking to me, reassuring me I think. But I wasn’t paying attention. Even if I was, I couldn’t speak. My voice was too dry and scratchy, so thick with pain and ripped like glass blanketed my throat.

Maria showed up in the hall, crying in her hands as she leaned against the opposite wall I was sitting against. Sobs were overtaking her body, attracting attention from people walking up and down the halls.

When the door from inside of Caden’s room opened up, all three pairs of eyes laid upon the exiting doctor. His face was ashen, his hands strung out and his eyes heavy. Sweat was blanketing his forehead and he was breathing slightly heavy. The actions to get Caden to safety must have exerted a lot out of him. He was coming out to say that they had fixed the problem. Whatever happened, they had resolved it and patched him back up.

Right?

“I…I’m so sorry,” he said, shaking his head.

Then everything quieted. The Earth didn’t come to a stand still or anything like that. The world moved on, didn’t pause because of my breaking heart. They still went about their own business. Everything still occurred around me. Maria broke down in further in tears, falling to the floor to her knees.

“No…No…Fuck!” Mason shouted, crying and pulling at the ends of his hair with his fists.

Earlier on, my head was bobbing, the water up to my chin but just low enough to give me enough room to breathe. Now…now the water was above my mouth and my nose, just underneath my eyes enough so that I could see the world move around me. The water was filling my lungs, filling every inch of me like I was a fish retaining water.

I couldn’t breathe.

The pain in me was enough to make me join him.

God, I was able to join him.

That’s not how this was supposed to be. He was supposed to be waking up and talking to everyone. They were supposed to fix him and patch him back up…good as new. Those paddles were supposed to jumpstart his heart. Those beeps weren’t supposed to be single noted. That breathing machine was supposed to be rising and falling. His body was supposed to be warm. His smile was supposed to be vibrant.

What is a world without him in it?

It was supposed to happen like this. If anyone was meant to go first, it was me.