Sadie, Someday...

Chapter 10 - Sometimes Secrets Need To Be Told

Chapter 10
Sometimes Secrets Need To Be Told

A/N - *Warning* Slight graphic material once you hit the italicized part of the chapter. 

“A constellation of tears on your lashes, Burn everything you love, Then burn the ashes, In the end everything collides.” ~ My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark – Fall Out Boy

Someone always said, things were meant to fall apart to have better things come together.

As I grew up, I tried my hardest to believe in this quote. It had to be the truth, because if you pushed through all of the terrible moments thrown at you in life, you deserved a reward of sorts. Everyone needs an incentive to get them through to the end. Runners needed the goal and thrill of winning that race they had trained almost a year for. Mothers pushed through pregnancies in preparation to welcome the tiny human being that would become the center of their worlds.

And me?

I needed an incentive to make these days worth while. As the tables were turning and Caden became the man I never expected him to be, the days were becoming longer and scarier to see through until the end. Everyone else around me seemed to have that safe place to fall when times got too rough to handle on their own. Then there was little, old me, with nothing but a pillow to bury my tears into. The only person seeming to be talking to me at this point were the horrid voices in my head telling me that this was what I deserved all along.

If I’d just accepted my fate and ended it sooner, this wouldn’t have happened. There would be a sigh of relief, that moment when your breath suddenly fills back up to the brim in your lungs. I’d be gone from the world with its lack of chivalries and grieving waking moments. My surroundings would be filled such sweet, decadent silence. My yearnings for a better life, better vision to this twisted world, wouldn’t be worth a dime anymore. I wouldn’t have to be yearning for anything more. Feelings would be gone, touch would never occur and thoughts would be silenced.

It was all I could do not to think about it, especially with someone like Rider Forrester riding my tail day after day.

Ever since he returned from his year absence, the skin crawling feeling never seemed to cease. He seemed to be at the end of every hallway, between the doorway to every classroom and behind my ear whenever I was alone. It took me so many days, unruly minutes and terrible thoughts to at least get the image of our last encounter out of my mind. But that quote that deemed better things to come from torn apart moments didn’t seem to get the memo when it came to my life. As things seemed to be tearing on the final string of thread, Rider was there with the largest pair of scissors and a signature, cocky smirk.

It was almost like he knew that he was getting to me. He watched me cower with lustful eyes and that stupid smile. His touch seemed all over my body with just one touch of his rough finger. That rough, raspy voice of his enveloped me whenever he was near. It took everything in me not to look back to that night against his pick-up truck, by the Point when everyone was gone.

“I love you,” he whispered, curling a strand of my wilting hair around his pointer finger.

I spent hours in that salon chair, running through so many scenarios of how his face would look when he showed up at my front door with my corsage. I never spent much time on my appearance when I was around him. He always claimed that I was ‘beautiful without all of the makeup and fancy stuff.’ But this time was special. It was his senior prom. I was dating the most popular boy in the school, a high school girl’s dream wrapped into one.

Who couldn’t help but fill giddy past the heightened point?

“I love you, too,” I gasped, my eyes falling to his tanned skin, glowing beneath the light of the moon.