Let It Burn || Station 19

Grief

Grief was always such a strange thing.

It wasn't a straight line, there was no perfect path to it. It was messy, violent and dizzying. Or, it could be slow, silent, and dangerous. 

Maya had these thoughts, as she watched her brother down another mouthful of whiskey, sitting at her kitchen island.

It had been almost a full week since Maya had found Liam in his apartment, the dazed look in his eyes still flashing through her mind. It took days for him to leave the guest room, Maya finding him, more than once, just led in darkness, the blinds drawn. 

When he finally did leave, he was a sight for sore eyes. His unruly curls were limp and greasy. His well kept stubble had grown out, a scruffy, patchy beard coating his face. The dark circles under his eyes made them look hollow. He was wearing the exact same clothes Maya had laid out for him days ago, they were rumpled and creased.

He barely even looked at her before he was rummaging through her cabinets. He didn't stop until he found what he was looking for, pulling out a jack daniels that had been gifted to her and a glass, sitting at the kitchen island and pouring himself an unhealthy amount of alcohol before downing it in one go. And he has been there ever since, swiftly working his way to the bottom of the bottle.

Maya didn't know what to do. She had never seen her brother like this. She had seen him depressed, had seen him lonely, had seen him troubled. But never....this. This was different. From the information she had gathered, the man who died was a friend of his, one from his deployment. The deployment Liam never talks about, has never talked about. Most likely, will never talk about. They may be different in many ways, but in this they were the same. They don't talk about the things that bother them. They suck it up, embrace the pain.

Maya sighed, pacing in the hallway away from Liam. She cursed herself in her head for not knowing what to do, not knowing how to help her brother. Between Liam, Mason, and her fight with Andy, she was at a loss. 

She couldn't talk to Andy about this, didn't feel like she could talk to Andy about it. 

So, she turned to Vic and Travis. They were the people Liam was closest with, Maya catching the trio more than once laughing and joking.

"Liam's...." Travis had sighed when she asked him. "He's closed off, about his deployment in particular. You know that." Maya had nodded. "And, when we found him... Just, you gotta get him to talk. I don't know how, but you've got to. Don't let him bottle this up, I know you Bishops like to do that."

With that, he had walked off, leaving Maya at even more of a loss.

Vic's answer was about the same.

Maya sighed sharply, eyeing Liam as he sipped at another full glass. With a shake of her head, she made her way over to him, sitting next to him at the island. He barely glanced at her, his eyes glazed with a shine of drunkeness.

"I'm supposed to be going on a stake out, next shift." Maya started. "In the Aid Car, I'll be parked outside as Ryan and his team take down this big boss, or something." She looked at her brother, seeing him take another long sip from his glass. "Me and Andy are still fighting, I guess. And her and Jack are still going on, if his coat outside the Captain door is anything to go by. And, she's just rambling on and on-"

"Is there a point to this?"

It was the first time she had heard him speak in days. His voice was raspy, rough, scratching out of his throat. His words were quiet, but she heard them all the same.

"The point, is that I'm trying to get you to talk to me." Maya answered. "But I know you, you won't talk on your own, you don't share stuff. But, I'm your sister, and I want to help you. So, I'm telling you things in the hope that you will talk to me."