Bad Dreams // m.g.c

Chapter 14 - Mushy Feelings

it's been a few months since Luke and I made up, and since then, everything's been peachy keen! I've actually started my own singing career (officially) and I have my own single out with the help of the boys! it's absolutely amazing being with them, they're entertaining, hilarious to be around, and just flat out fun. Also being with Hey Violet is pretty cool too, I became good friends with them, especially Rena and Nia.

As for the personally, mushy inside feelings that a lot of people like, it's complicated. People sometimes call you a slut if you like more than one person, maybe it's just me that it's happened to, but honestly that's the situation. I'm around them all and each and every one of them are just special to me in their own certain way. Michael was the first person that I really connected and became friends with. LUke, well everyone knows the story with him now. Calum is so easy to talk to and just is generally great friend overall, I've talked to him a lot. And Ashton, well he was the first to scare me. We haven't talked a whole lot in the beginning but it's changed drastically. I've told all of them bits and pieces about my own life. Mainly about exes and stuff because song references you know? Except Michael I haven't told him yet just because he's just so soft towards me sometimes and just "omg God why did he do that?!" kind of occasionally.

My most used ex in my songs usually revolve around this one guy, Austin Lo, and he was the most douchiest boyfriend I've ever had. but yet I kept dating him, which, I have to add, was the worst relationship ever. He was rude and if I didn't do something he'd like, he would, you know hurt me in some form. It was bad, and it was usually under control. But I left him after I caught him cheating on me with one of my so called friends and he stopped to come slap me and punch me, then asked me to stay with him. He also always made fun of me whenever I told him what I wanted to do as career wise, but he said you wouldn't make it, you're terrible. Or you just don't have what it takes. But he stands corrected in my song "Look At Me Now," one of my favorites.

I wanted to tell Michael, but I don't know how to but I was planning on tonight. But changed my mind after I saw him alone in his dressing room, so I knocked on the door.
"Michael?" I asked. "It's open!"
"Hey I need to tell you something." I muttered. He immediately sat up and I had all his attention. "Um," I fiddled with my fingers, "I haven't told you yet though because I just didn't want you to freak out about it."
"What, what it is. Haven is everything ok?" He Asked. "yeah now it is. but I just needed to tell you so I wouldn't have it all on my shoulders that I haven't said anything yet." So I told him. Everything that he's done. Speaking about it out loud and having his full attention made me really happy, but I just broke down mid story, which didn't happen while telling the others. It was just something about him that just told me how much affection he was showing. "Haven, look at me. Why haven't you said anything before to me?" He asked sternly. "I-I just was nervous I guess." He just looked at me and just brought me into a hug and pulled me into his shoulder. "Well, everything is fine and okay and it will stay that way. I promise. The boys and I won't let him get to you if he ever does. We swear." and I just nodded.

Michael and I just stayed like that for a good 5-10 minutes just before someone showed up at the worst time possible.