Always // Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield)

-18- guilt

Minutes felt like hours and hours felt like days, as Peter sat anxiously in the waiting room. He had changed back into his normal clothes, twirling the loose thread on the sleeve of his jumper between his fingers in some attempt to ease his nerves.

He was sure the nurse running the front desk was fed up with him begging for updates every few minutes, but he couldn't help it. Not knowing what was happening had him feeling completely helpless, and the guilt, it was eating at him. He was the reason she's here in the first place, it was entirely his fault this happened and he hated himself for it.

He didn't know when he started, or how long he was doing it for, but he found himself pacing between the rows of chairs of the waiting room, he'd catch an odd glare from a patient sitting down, but Peter was doing anything he could to distract himself. His heightened senses were his own worst enemy right now. He could hear the whispered phone call happening outside the door, the whirring of the vending machine, the hushed conversation between two nurses, the beeping of a monitor.

A hand touched his shoulder and he spun around to see the nurse from the front desk looking up at him. Her features were warm as she spoke.

"Follow me"

The nurse, who's name tag read 'Julie' lead Peter through a maze of hallways. Peter's heartbeat becoming more rapid the longer they walked. He read the numbers of all the rooms as they walked past.

112

113

114

The nurse abruptly stopped in front of 115 and Peter almost walked right into the back of her. He grabbed the wall on his left to steady himself and as he did he peaked through the open blinds of room 115.

It was Maya's room.

His eyes were glued to her as she laid still in the hospital bed, there was someone in the room with her setting up an IV drip, but Peter's eyes never swayed from Maya. Even as the doctor left the room and had begun speaking to Julie, Peter just kept his whole focus on her.

There was a light pat on his shoulder that came from the doctor.

"She'll be alright, son. Her injuries were deep but we stopped the bleeding and stitched the wounds up."

Peter nodded.

"She's very lucky Spiderman saved her" The nurse smiled between Peter and the doctor.

"Yeah, saved her" Peter sighed, his words laced with sarcasm.

The doctor gave Peter a concerned look before clearing his throat and speaking again.

"She's still not awake from the general anesthetic, but you're more than welcome to sit with her"

Peter nodded, his eyes still not leaving Maya as he opened the door to her room and slowly made his way in, carefully shutting the door behind him. His steps towards Maya's bed were cautious, almost as if he'd wake her up if he was too loud.

He felt his heart in his throat as he approached her bed. Her hair was a mess and her mascara was lightly smeared under her bottom lashes. Her eyes were closed and her lips slightly parted.

His eyes trailed down to her stomach.

There was the guilt again. It swallowed him whole as he could see the bulge of the bandages underneath her gown and he was reminded again of how this was entirely his fault.

His hand reached down to hold onto hers, it was warm and Peter gave it a light squeeze, hoping she'd squeeze back. He looked back up at her face. Despite everything, she looked so peaceful. Peter dreaded that when she woke up, that peacefulness would be gone.

She deserved peace and Peter feared that he would hold her back from that now that she knew the truth about him. Maybe, she deserved better than him.

Peter shook his head at the thought and slumped into the chair besides Maya bed. He folded his arms and let out a deep sigh as he sunk deeper into the chair. He'd wait right here for her to wake up.

---

Doctor's and nurses had been in and out of the room constantly to check on Maya and one kind nurse even bought Peter up a coffee, which he took with thanks. Though it did little to help with the exhaustion that was catching up with him. Peter didn't even realize he had started to doze off, but a light rustle in the bed beside him made his eyes shoot open immediately.

Maya tried to open her eyes, but the sleepiness she still felt were fighting to keep them shut. Her eyes finally fluttered open as she searched her unfamiliar surroundings. Peter shot up out of the chair and leant over her bed in an instant. Her eyes locked with his, finally finding something familiar. Peter's eyes darted around Maya's face, looking for any clue on what she was feeling. Was she in pain, was she upset, was she mad at him?

The weak smile that Maya gave Peter was all he needed as a response. He couldn't help the huge grin that took over as he reached his hand to hold her cheek and plant a small kiss on her forehead.