Cowboy Casanova

8

I sat in the living room of the house that the Navy had for us while we were a part of Top Gun. Laying on the couch, I replayed the day's events. Not just what happened with Hangman (or I guess what didn't happen), but everything that I needed to learn or do better to get my name on the plaque. I wanted to leave here the best of the best. Part of me needed to prove that I belonged here, that I wasn't just here because of my dad, or my godfather, or anyone who helped pave the way for me to be sitting here right now. There was a small knock at the side door that led to the beach and I sat up. "Come in." I answered, knowing that the door was still unlocked. I had been out there earlier, listening to the waves crash onto the shore. Bradley sticks his head in and I smile. Just the person I wanted to see. "Hey." He comes in with a smile and a Hawaiian shirt that I knew had belonged to his dad, back in the day.

"Why are you still awake?" He asked me. I just sigh. "Yeah, me too." I stare at the photo I have on the table of me with my dad and Bradley and his mom. We looked like the perfect family.

"You ever wonder how similar you are to your dad?" Bradley looks surprised at the question as he sits in the chair across from me.

"That's a big question." I shoot him a smile. "I remember your mom a little bit. But mom told me all about her when I was older. You're just like both of them. A know-it-all with a crazy need for speed." I throw a pillow at him, but deep down, I hope he's right. I hope I am a little bit like both of my parents.

"I talk to him sometimes, your dad." Bradley looks up at me with surprise. "Him and Kelly. They knew what it was like to be up there in the sky and feel what we feel while doing it. I miss them. I miss all of them. I talk to your mom a lot too. I almost feel bad for not talking to my mom, but I don't know what to say. I don't know her. I never did." Bradley comes and sits next to me, letting me rest my head on his shoulder. "But God, your mom was the best. We both know how god-awful dad was with women stuff and your mom was there when I needed her. I remember getting my first period and she was there to teach me what it all meant." I hear Bradley chuckle, shaking his head. That had been a crazy weekend. I was so convinced I was dying and dad had no clue what he was doing, as much as he tried to help. I called Aunt Carole and she helped with everything, walked us both through everything we needed to know and what to get. "My first kiss. I complained to her all night about that one." Bradley pushed me off of him, hitting me with a pillow.

"Hey! You asked me to kiss you, so I did." I laughed, sitting up.

"Yeah and it was awful. I'm surprised Natasha lets you anywhere near her with that mouth." I laugh, but he just hits me with another pillow.

"Jerk."

"Bitch." It was silent for a few more seconds.

"Who's Kelly?" My heart-dropped at that question. He could tell that I was suddenly uncomfortable. "You don't have to talk about it." I shake my head.

"Yeah, I do. My therapist says I have to. I've just been putting it off. There was a lot going on and I didn't want to worry you when you were in Afghanistan fighting." I opened my phone, showing him a picture of the two of us.

"Wasn't she in the academy group with us?" I nodded.

"We were sent to Iraq together. She was my wingman." I could barely finish that sentence without choking back the tears. "I lost her. She didn't make it. I've been going to therapy enough to know that it wasn't my fault, but most days I still feel responsible." Bradley wraps me back in his arms, holding me close as I let the rest of the tears fall.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you." I chuckle, smacking his chest. "I'm serious."

"I know you are; that's the funny part. You were literally fighting for your life in Afghanistan. What would you have done?"