𝐂œ𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐬é𝐬 [Percy Jackson]

25

"You look different," Percy told the god. "Skinnier. Your hair is longer. And your shirt isn't so loud."

The wine god squinted up at him. "What in blazes are you talking about? Who are you, and where is Ceres?"

"Uh... what series?"

"I think he means Ceres," Jason said. "The goddess of agriculture. You'd call her Demeter." He nodded respectfully to the god. "Lord Bacchus, do you remember me? I helped you with that missing leopard in Sonoma."

That was Jason Grace for you- always respectful if he could be. It made Hadrian feel guiltier about the brick to his face which was kind of his fault.

Bacchus scratched his stubbly chin. "Ah... yes. John Green."

"Jason Grace."

"Whatever," the god said. "Did Ceres send you, then?"

"No, Lord Bacchus," Jason said. "Were you expecting to meet her here?"

The god snorted. "Well, I didn't come to Kansas to party, my boy. Ceres asked me here for a council of war. What with Gaea rising, the crops are withering. Droughts are spreading. The karpoi are in revolt. Even my grapes aren't safe. Ceres wanted a united front in the plant war."

"The plant war," Percy said. "You're going to arm all the little grapes with tiny assault rifles?"

Hadrian snorted. Maybe Percy had some fight in him after all.

The god narrowed his eyes. "Have we met?"

"At Camp Half-Blood," Percy said, "I know you as Mr. D—Dionysus."

"Agh!" Bacchus winced and pressed his hands to his temples. For a moment, his image flickered. Hadrian saw a different person—fatter, dumpier, in a much louder, leopard-patterned shirt like Percy had described. Then Bacchus returned to being Bacchus. "Stop that!" he demanded. "Stop thinking about me in Greek!"

Percy blinked. "Uh, but—"

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to stay focused? Splitting headaches all the time! I never know what I'm doing or where I'm going! Constantly grumpy!"

"That sounds pretty normal for you," Percy said.

The god's nostrils flared. One of the grape leaves on his hat burst into flame. "If we know each other from that other camp, it's a wonder I haven't already turned you into a dolphin."

"It was discussed," Percy assured him. "I think you were just too lazy to do it."

"Hads-" Jason warned. He watched the interaction with a horrified fascination. "Please make sure the god doesn't turn Percy into a Dolphin"

"Nah, I think that'd be pretty funny"

"I've been turned into a hamster before, I'd like to get the full petting zoo experience" Percy turned around and Hadrian was just realizing how close they were.

He cleared his throat and awkwardly slipped off the horse. He landed gracefully on his feet and faced the god.

"Lord Bacchus!" he interrupted.

"Sorry to trouble you, my lord," he told the god, "but actually we came here to get your advice. Please, we need your wisdom."

Hadrian had never really been fond of gods, other than Apollo (he was really hot okay? Don't judge). But he knew they loved flattery.

He used his most agreeable tone, pouring respect into his charmspeak.

The god frowned, but the purple glow faded in his eyes. "You're well-spoken, boy. Advice, eh? Very well. I would avoid karaoke. Really, theme parties in general are out. In these austere times, people are looking for a simple, low-key affair, with locally produced organic snacks and—"