𝐂œ𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐬é𝐬 [Percy Jackson]

43

Percy had put the photo Hadrian had taken on his wall.

"Who's that hot guy on your wall?" Hadrian grinned as he looked at the polaroid.

"You're hilarious" Percy said with a deadpan face.

"Do you have extra pants?" Hadrian got straight to the point, "Leo kind of sent most of mine flying away. I still have one pair of jeans and these cargo pants, but nothing else."

"Dude, I barely have one camp t-shirt" Percy pointed to the one he was wearing. "What makes you think I have extra clothes"

"I already asked Jason, but he made short jokes so I made him do the macarena for two minutes"

Percy snorted.

He was lying on his bed, stretched out. Hadrian tried not to stare. He really did. But it was a losing battle. Percy's hands were under his head, his biceps defined. The camp t-shirt rode up on one side revealing a bit of skin at his waist.

Percy always seemed to be so confused whenever he caught Hadrian staring, like he couldn't believe Hadrian was attracted to him.

Like objectively, Percy was hot. So what if Hadrian admired that from time to time?

"Wait one second" Hadrian said before he vanished out of Percy's room before emerging again. He dumped a few of the clothes he had in his hand onto Percy's legs. "Your welcome"

"That's... a lot of clothes"

"Orange really isn't your color" Hadrian grimaced at his t-shirt which looked like it had been through hell. "You're a little taller, but most of these t-shirts and sweatshirts are baggier on me so they should fit"

"So you admit you're short" Percy sat up, grinning. Hadrian desperately wanted to punch him.

"I said I'm shorter than you, not that I'm short. I'm taller than Leo"

"Everyone's taller than Leo, he doesn't count"

Percy began digging through the pile of clothes. Hadrian had gone crazy thrifting after he had shown up to camp. Some random asshole had called him a slur so Hadrian told him to hand over his wallet, which he did. Overall, he spent nearly a thousand dollars that day, maybe more. The haul was well worth it.

Percy raised his eyebrows at a crop top.

"What? It's blue, I thought you'd like it"

"I do," Percy said genuinely. Then he did something that made Hadrian's eyes widen so much it looked like his eyeballs would fall out of his skull. He pulled off his shirt in one swift move.

Growing up queer, Hadrian always had instances where straight guys refused to change in front of him. They called him names, slurs, and insisted he must have a crush on one of them. Sometimes if he so much as looked in their direction, people like Jamie would shove and push him, saying he was making them uncomfortable because he was clearly staring.

Hadrian looked away. He didn't want the same to happen with Percy.

When he looked back at Percy wearing the crop top, Hadrian had to hand it to him, he pulled it off flawlessly. It made his arms look bigger, though he wasn't overly muscular. And gods, that waist. Percy's abs weren't visible now, Hadrian knew it was basic biology, abs weren't present 24/7. But damn did he look hot even without the abs.

Get a grip He told himself.

"Looks better on me" He shrugged.

"Bet it does" Percy said, though Hadrian had no idea what that meant. "Seriously, Hads, thanks"

Everytime someone called him Hads, he couldn't help the Deja vu.

"I- uh Can you not call me that?" He hated how small and sad he sounded, "I had a friend- they were basically family. She used to call me that. They died last year and uh-"

Percy, though everyone called him stupid, clueless and oblivious, was extremely empathetic as Hadrian had come to discover in the few days he knew him. Feelings were important for the son of Poseidon, and he always took others' feelings into account. Immediately his eyes widened and he got up.

"Gods, Hadrian, I'm so sorry. I didn't know"

He looked like he wanted to hug him, but Hadrian shook his head and took two steps back, "It's fine. Just don't tell the others"

"Do you want to talk about them?" Percy asked, choosing his words carefully. "You don't have to, but... actually nevermind, that was stupid. You can go if you want to, thanks for the clothes"

"No, it's okay" Hadrian pushed Percy back onto his bed and then sat next to him. "Her name was Kira." He began.

"They were... we were always more than just friends" Hadrian tried to ignore the feeling like bile crawling up his throat. He wanted to throw up, his heart fucking hurt in his chest. "Not in a romantic way, she didn't swing this way. But uh... I don't know, it just always felt like she could read my mind"

Percy seemed deep in thought. He was staring at Hadrian's face, scanning his features.

"I get that feeling" He nodded, "Grover and I have an empathy link, so he can literally read my mind"

"Grover sounds nice" Hadrian smiled, "I'd like to meet him one day"

There wouldn't be one day after the whole fucking world was destroyed. Hadrian tried to remember that. But he ignored those thoughts and looked at Percy.

"Kira was my only family after my mom died. The first thing she ever said to me was- they say love and death are similar"

"Thanatos said the same thing"

"She followed it by saying my mom's gravestone was ugly"

Percy's eyes widened comically and Hadrian couldn't help but laugh. "It's okay, I hated my mom anyways. She wasn't a great person and she made me believe I wasn't a good enough son"

Percy looked like he wanted to say something, do something, lay a hand on Hadrian's shoulder maybe? But he didn't do anything.

"I watched her die, Percy" Hadrian's voice was shaking now, "I watched them die and I could do nothing about it and I've been beating myself up for that for ages now"

How could he explain any of this while keeping his charade going? He had to make the demigods on board trust him, but he needed to tell someone, he needed to get it out of his system. Since Kira died, he had no one. He hated feeling so desperately alone, like he was the only person left in the world. And then along came Percy Jackson.

Hadrian should have hated him. He really should have. Percy was everything he wasn't. Kira died in the fight between Percy and Kronos. Percy was... Gods, Percy was an amazing friend. Was he his friend? Shit, he hadn't really asked.

"I should have, she- Gaea-"

"Hey" Percy's hand brushed his cheek. He was crying, when had he started crying? The brief touch shocked him into pulling back. Percy didn't seem to mind, "It wasn't your fault. Unless you actively drove a sword through her, you didn't kill them, okay? I need you to understand it wasn't your fault"

Percy had no idea about the circumstances of Kira's death. For all he knew, Hadrian did really drive a sword through her. But he looked at Hadrian like there was something worth looking at, something more than just his looks. Hadrian felt like Percy was seeing directly into his soul.

"Sorry" Hadrian swallowed, "I- I know it's not my fault, it's just that.. She took care of me for so long and then I couldn't do anything to help them"

"It happens sometimes," Percy smiled. A soft smile, not his troublemaker grin. "We can't save everyone. You're a good person, Hadrian"

It felt like a slap to the face. A good person? Hadrian had never been a good person and he didn't usually mind it. But now that Percy was looking him in his eyes and believing so genuinely that Hadrian was a good person even though he was literally plotting their demise, Hadrian felt guilty.

Kira. He reminded himself. Kira's the only one that matters.