𝐂œ𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐬é𝐬 [Percy Jackson]

159

Percy was kissing him like he was on borrowed time.

Like he had to make every single second count. Like he wanted to bruise him, make sure Hadrian never forgot him.

"Hey, hey, hey" Hadrian pulled back, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Percy said, but his eyes didn't leave Hadrian's lips. Ever since meeting Kym, he seemed... off. Even in the mess hall while Jason and Hadrian narrated the whole thing, Percy had been strangely quiet. "Can I kiss you?"

"No. Not right now. Sit down and tell me what's wrong"

Hadrian pushed him down on his bed.

"Oh bossy..." Percy mumbled as he bounced on the bed. He leaned back resting on his elbows and let his head fall back. He let out a deep groan like he'd rather die than talk about what was bothering him.

"Percy-"

"Baby"

"Baby..." Hadrian corrected. Percy flushed a very nice pink. "What happened down there? With Kym and Polybotes?"

"You killed him, Polybotes- you and Jason killed him"

"Hopefully he stays dead," Hadrian grumbled. He pushed Percy's knees apart and stood in front of him. Percy looked up at him through his eyelashes, his lips parted and Hadrian almost forgot why they were wasting time talking when they could be kissing.

"You don't deserve to die, pretty boy" Hadrian cupped his face, brushing his thumb over his cheek, delicately. "You told me I deserve everything, and now I'm telling you, you deserve more than everything"

"I mean... gods, I- Percy I can't lose you" Hadrian choked out, "Anyone else, but not you"

"Careful, mon cœur, Jason might get jealous" Percy's words sounded strangely bitter. Hadrian tried not to laugh, but it came out as a cough. Percy frowned as he looked back up at Hadrian, "I almost died, you're not allowed to make fun of me"

"You were jealous"

"I wish you weren't so hot" Percy leaned his head against Hadrian's stomach, "Everyone stares at you too long"

"Deal with it, baby, I'm limited edition"

Hadrian could feel Percy shake with laughter against him and the sound...Gods, he never wanted to live in a world where he couldn't hear that sound. Percy Jackson. What would he do without him?

"Seriously, Percy, talk to me, don't bottle up your feelings" Hadrian ran a hand through his hair.

"I..." Percy began again, "I didn't want to die. I just- I just kept thinking of the arai and every monster I've ever killed. I- Hadrian, how am I any less than a murderer?"

"Because you're a good guy" Hadrian felt appalled that Percy thought there was a need to even ask that. "Percy, you're everything good in this world. Ever since the first day I met you- back at Mount Othrys, you've always tried to do the right thing. Monsters and demigods are just natural enemies. They try to kill us, we just kill them first"

"How do we have the right to decide who lives and who doesn't?"

"Monsters come back from Tartarus..." Hadrian wanted to say we don't but he realized too late. "I guess, we do too. My point is, monsters reform- again and again. We don't get that. It doesn't make you a monster for defending yourself"

"Hadrian," Percy said his name, his voice full of pain- "I was enjoying it- choking Akhlys. After coming back from... From down there, I feel like I've turned into a monster. What if- What if Tartarus changed me too much? What if I'm no better than them? What if I'm not good enough-"