𝐂œ𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐬é𝐬 [Percy Jackson]

60

"Can I?" Hadrian heard the words, but he didn't register them.

Everything seemed a little fuzzy, like he wasn't really aware of his surroundings or the words being said to him. He was just numb to everything. The world could end right now and he wouldn't give a fuck. 

He nodded. He let himself be pulled in a hug. Jason's arms wrapped around him. The moment Hadrian had shown up, Jason asked him what was wrong, it was evident on his face, the tear streaked cheeks, the bloodshot eyes, his flaming red hair. Even crying, breaking down, he looked beautiful.

"You know damn well that's not what I'm here for" he pushed Jason away, ignoring how good it felt to have someone hold him.

He pulled Jason's face down, connecting their lips. Jason was just happy to oblige. Hadrian was pushing him forward until his back hit the wall.

"Hads-"

"Tell me to stop, if you want to" Hadrian mumbled, too focused on Jason's pink lips. He ran his tongue over his scar and any protests Jason had, died in his throat.

"Hads what's going on? Do you want to talk about it?"

"Less talking more kissing" Hadrian saw Jason's ears turn pink. "I need to feel... something" 

Something other than anger, other than thinking about Percy. A distraction. It felt wrong to use Jason like this, but the boy wasn't complaining.

"Yeah" Jason mumbled, too occupied to care, 

He grabbed Hadrian's waist, pulling him close and Hadrian  felt the same lightning in his stomach, the heat pooling in his stomach. Kissing Jason may not feel permanent, but it sure as hell felt good. He tasted like metal, he smelled like burnt wood, like the smell of the earth after a lightning strike. Hadrian could taste the brownie Jason had eaten for dessert, the chocolate taste on his lips.

Hadrian's hands were everywhere, behind Jason's hair, behind his neck, grabbing his waist, pulling him towards him by the belt loops.

But every time he closed his eyes, his mind drifted to green eyes that looked at him with betrayal. He kept thinking of dark hair and small waist.

"Fuck" Hadrian mumbled taking a step back. "Shit, sorry"

"It's okay" Jason's lips looked red, "do you want to talk about it?"

"Definitely not"

Hadrian kept his eyes open this time as he kissed Jason's scar. Jason smiled into the kiss. Hadrian kissed his smile lines, his jaw, working his way down to Jason's neck. He liked the pleased sounds Jason made, the way he tilted his head back, resting it on the wall, exposing his neck.

Hadrian touched his lips over warm skin, the base of his throat, his collar bones. He pulled at the T-shirts neck, trying to get easier access.

When he felt Jason's fingers on his waist, sparks touched his skin, goosebumps spreading across him.

"Hads-"

"Shut up" Hadrian mumbled. "Do whatever you want"

Jason tugged at his T-shirt. Hadrian obliged, parting only to pull his T-shirt over his head.

Jason's room was colder than his own, he felt bare standing there shirtless, cool air on his skin.
Jason looked at him like everyone else did, a little dazed, a little crazed. They all saw the same thing, a pretty face, a pretty body.

That never used to bother him. But now he'd seen how good it felt to have Percy who actually listened to him talk for hours, whom he had told about Kira, who talked about the people he cared about with so much love. And Hadrian wanted to be one of the people Percy talked about like that.

He tugged at Jason's T-shirt, pressing a hand to his chest. Jason took the T-shirt off, staring only at Hadrian.

His eyes chased Hadrian's lips.

Hadrian looked at him with half lidded eyes and spoke, "Are you just going to keep staring at me like that, chéri?"

Jason grinned, but it was nothing like Percy's.

Hadrian wasted no time connecting their lips again. But it was too late. He was already thinking about the argument again.

He couldn't help the way his knees buckled, the way he choked out a sob and nearly collapsed. He would have collapsed if Jason hadn't caught him.

"I'm sorry" Hadrian whispered, "I'm so fucking sorry, I didn't know anything else"

"Hads" Jason whispered, "what happened?"

Leo chose that moment to burst into the cabin, Hadrian had no idea what he must have thought- Jason and Hadrian shirtless, a dark mark forming on Jason's neck, their lips red raw. Hadrian was half collapsed, Jason holding him by an arm around his waist.

"Hey Jason-" whatever he was going to say next, he didn't.

Hadrian tried to push Jason away, but the blond just pulled him closer against his chest. He couldn't help the tears that came next.

Jason and Leo shared a look. Without another word, Leo was beside Hadrian. He didn't mention anything he wanted to talk about desperately.

Jason just pulled him to his feet, and coaxed him to the bed. Hadrian curled into a ball, Jason and Leo flanking him on both sides. His embarrassment was through the roof, he wanted them to look away, to never see him like this.

He was the perfect, charming, polished guy, the flirty one and nothing bothered him, at least not according to them. This was a huge blow to his reputation.

He was going to throw up.

The two of them were cuddling him, Jason rubbed his back as he hiccupped through his tears.

Hadrian was ugly sobbing, snot on his face, he wondered how anyone could ever like him if they saw him like this.

He was tempted to charmspeak them to go away, but their presence was more comforting than anything he could ever put into words.

Leo's body was warmer than a normal person, he threw an arm around Hadrian so he buried his face in his chest, Jason acted as the big spoon.

Strangely, covered in snot, tears down his face, being absolutely humiliated, he had rarely felt this loved before.

"You don't have to talk about it" Jason whispered in his ear, pressed a kiss to his forehead "but don't ignore it"

So he didn't. He let himself feel all the hurt, all the things he liked about Percy, all the way he felt disappointed in himself.

And Leo and Jason hugged him like there was something human left inside him.

He wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, until his eyes grew heavy and his body ached with sadness.

"So... Jason" Leo whispered, careful not to rouse Hadrian, "why were you trying to get in his pants when he was sad?"

"I didn't know he was sad back then" Jason whispered back, "and I wasn't trying to get in his pants, he came to me"

"Good for you man, but I'm not sure it makes you gay if you like Hadrian. Everyone likes Hadrian"

"Leo I think you should question your sexuality"

"No I like to live in delusion" Hadrian felt him shake with silent laughter, "but seriously man, I'm glad you figured stuff about yourself"

"Thanks"

Hadrian drifted into deep sleep.