Chapter 38

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Noels Gay Support Group

Monique🥀🖤: GUYS

Monique🥀🖤: HELP

Monique🥀🖤: I FUCKED UP

Monique🥀🖤: SO SO BAD

Mischa>:): what haopened???
Mischa>:): u ok?

Monique🥀🖤: NO

Monique🥀🖤: MY CRUSH FUCKINF KISSED ME

water: wait you and mischa met up??

Monique🥀🖤: I DONT HAVE A CRUSJ ON MISCHA

water: mhm suuuuuure

Monique🥀🖤: STFU

Monique🥀🖤: IM HAVINGA C RISSI

Mischa>:): what did u fo when he kiseed you??,

Monique🥀🖤: I LEFT

Monique🥀🖤: IM SUCH A DICK

Monique🥀🖤: I COMPLETELU LEFT HIM THERE AND HE LOOMMD SO HURT

Monique🥀🖤: WHAT THE RUFK WAS I THINKING

Monique🥀🖤: I SWEAR TO GOD

Monique🥀🖤: IM ACC GONNA FHCKING KMS

Mischa>:): Noel its ok
Mischa>:): He'lll forgive u

Monique🥀🖤: HE WINT
Monique🥀🖤: I DINR HAVE JIS NUMBER SI I CAN'T APOLOGISE

Monique🥀🖤: IM SO FUKINF STUPID

Monique🥀🖤: FYCKS SSKE

Mischa>:): noel
Mischa>:): calm down

Monique🥀🖤: I CANT

Mischa>:): noel im not mad at yoi

Monique🥀🖤: WHY WOULD YOU BE

Mischa>:): calm down, its ok

Monique🥀🖤: NO ITS NOT CAUEE.OM GONNA FUCKING DIE ALONE

Mischa>:): no you aren't

Monique🥀🖤: UES I WILL

_____

Noel slammed his phone down o his bed and watched as it sprung off to land on the floor. He sunk against his wall, pressing his head against the wall and sitting in a painful silence.

His breathing pace increased, his lungs grew and shrank as he felt them feel like they were going to cave in on itself.

fuck, he was having another panic attack.

He rarely got them anymore; but it'd been happening ever since he was a kid. It was usually when his mum was here. She herself was a trigger for him; along with things he'd had a not so pleasant history with, like alcohol for example.

he heard a knock on the door, a firm fist hitting the wood.

he panicked. if this was his mum he was surely in for one, especially if she saw him like this.

"noel, are you okay?"

it was mischa. well, noel didn't know it was him, but you get the idea.

"g-go away.." his voice was sore and he choked on a sob, reaching shaking for his phone again.

"noel i'm only here to help."

"FUCK OFF!!"

the other side of the door went silent.

hours passed.

noel sat on his room, sunk onto the floor with deeper cuts sunk into his wrist.

mischa sat on noels porch.

he hadn't left.

he quickly stood up again, heading back again towards that solid oak door that stood so intimidating in its frame, looming over mischa casting a shadow over him.

he knocked on it again.

"noel..?"

the man opened the door, a black stain of mascara running down his cheek, his eyes red from tears.

"im sorry im sorry im sorry.." he mumbled, his words getting breathier each time.

Mischa looked over the boy, scanning the situation.

and thats when he saw the blood.

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