Tw: suicide attempt and talk of it, relapse, self-harm
-nat is your girlfriend
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Watching the rain splashing on your window you listen to your playlist. Lost in thoughts you don't seem to notice the song playing now. That's untill something startles you and you hear the song.
Become the warm jets, by current joys. The memories of you relapsing to this song flood through your mind. You know your girlfriend told you you can come to her when you need something but you never told her about your self-harm and most likely will never.
Same thing with your last attempt. No one knows but you, sometimes it bothers you. You ask yourself why no one noticed. Why no one saw the signs. But then you realise you were acting just fine. Before and after the attempt.
You felt at peace knowing you were gonna die that night.
You look back at the rain again and think. The song still playing in your airpods you silently sob into your hands. You're tired. Everything hurts though you barely feel anything.
You think of your girlfriend. She wouldn't want you to, right? She's been acting very odd though. Maybe shes bored of you. Maybe she wouldn't care if you'd just jump off the roof.
Trying to shut down all the thoughts you run up to the roof. It's raining hard. By the time you make it to the edge your soaked. Your breathing is heavy and you're shaking.
Standing on the edge now sure this is what you want you take a deep breath. This is it. This is the feeling you've been searching for. The peace. You'll finally be okay.
The second you jump someone grabs your hand. "Not today baby." But shes too late she holds your hand while you almost slip out of her hands down the tall building.
"Let me go." You say as you look at her in the eyes. You're hurting too much. You can't take it anymore. "No." She sobs and drags you up with all her strength. She grabs your waist and holds you tight.
"What were you thinking?" She sobs. "I'm so sorry! I didn't know. Oh my god how did I not notice." She now mumbles to herself. "I'm sorry." You say. "How did this happen? What's been on your mind baby? Please talk to me." You just sob silently into her arms.
She lifts you up and walks inside. She lays you on her bed and lays beside you. As you sob into her chest she gives you kisses on your head. "It'll be okay. You'll be okay. I'm here now." She reassures you.
A/n: see what I did there?
By the way I'm sorry this is so shit lmao
