Daraga Series #1: The Fire's Sanctuary

Chapter 34

Rayen: ikaw bahala

Rayen: it's my day off tomorrow though, maaga akong aalis.

Camilo: huh? I thought it's your day off?

Rayen: oo, pero maaga ako. Pupunta ako sa palengke. Kaya huwag mo masyado agahan.

Matagal ko iyong tinitigan, I realized that I feel like I was expecting him to come early.. I shook my head, hindi naman I was just informing him.. I stopped the mini-argument inside my head when I received a new message from him.

Camilo: Okay. I'll go there not too early

After that few exchanges of messages I pushed myself to sleep even though it was really hard for me. Hindi mawala sa isip ko.. why am I letting him now?

Hindi ko alam kung anong nararamdaman ko ngayon, I can't explain it. When he did not say anything I thought he was really angry and of course I felt bad, I felt hurt even though it was something I expected already.

But when I received that message from him, what I felt was the familiar butterfly thing that I always felt when I was still his girlfriend but on a second thought.. butterflies in my stomach was a shallow feeling for that.. that kind of bliss that I felt was something I can't explain.

Hindi ko alam kung hahayaan ko ba siya ngayon pero naisip ko, I apologized already for the things I did wrong and one thing I did wrong is when I deprived him of the choice to still continue our relationship that time.

I lied and made him think that I cheated because I didn't want him to choose anymore, I wanted him to just let go without thinking of the choice he still has to make and that is whether to fight for our relationship or just let go of it.

I always believe that when you ask for forgiveness it must come with actions, sorry in words is not enough.

I want him to choose, I won't deprive him of that anymore.. because that's what my friend told me. It is out of my control whether they stay or not.

Dahil sa dami ng iniisip ay nasa tatlong oras lang siguro ang naging tulog ko. Kaya naman pagkagising ko nang mga alas singko ay sobrang sakit ng ulo ko. Agad na akong tumayo at lumabas para maghanda ng kape para maibsan nang kaunti ang sakit ng ulo ko.

Habang nagkakape ay napatingin ako sa cellphone ko nang tumunog ito.

Camilo: Good morning :)

Camilo: You're up early

Napaismid naman ako sa sinabi niya, after a sip from my coffee I typed a reply for him.

Rayen: I'm always up early.

Rayen: Morning btw

Camilo: You really are a changed person

I pouted as I read his recent message. Naalala ko tuloy na kahit isang beses sa date namin ay hindi ako nauna, may isang beses pa nga na halos dalawang oras siya nag-antay at sobra pa ako noon na kinabahan dahil ayaw niya talaga sa mga taong laging nali-late.

Naaalala ko pa noon na sinabi niya iyon sa akin bilang biggest pet peeve niya raw pero nang dumating naman ako noon hindi naman siya nagalit.. tahimik lang. Napangisi naman ako baka nga nagalit talaga siya dahil sobrang tahimik niya talaga noon pero nang ako na yung nagalit ay mukhang umurong naman iyon at sobrang daldal niya na noon pagkatapos.

Camilo: I'm on my way there.

Muntik ko nang mabuga ang kape na iniinom ko nang mabasa ang panibagong mensahe galing sakanya.

Kala ko ba hindi niya aagahan. 6AM palang ah.

I gasped when I realized na sobrang gulo pa ng buhok ko at hindi pa ako nakakapagtoothbrush. Nataranta tuloy ako at nagmadali na para makaligo. Dapat sana ay mamayang 6:30 pa ako mag-aayos pero dahil nga papunta na siya rito ay nataranta na ako at hindi alam kung ano ang uunahin.