Behind my wall | Tom Kaulitz ENG

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012

previously on behind my wall...

he wasn't ready for a relationship and didn't want to be tied down to just one girl....
He just hadn't meant it, but that's how he felt at the moment

in that chapter...

After I had that conversation with Tom in the van I didn't talk to him anymore, even though he texted me asking me how I was.
How was I?
How was I supposed to be?
Obviously I was going to their concert with Ceci, but I confess that seeing Tom there would make me feel uncomfortable, it's horrible not to have anything concrete with a person but to act like you do

- Sis?- I was scrolling through my yorkut feed where there were only edits of tokio hotel in fetal position and then I turned around to see Ceci- I heated up lunch in case you're hungry- Ceci said.

- Thank you- I turn around and focus on my cell phone.

- Anne- Ceci calls me soon sitting on the bed looking at me- You still haven't told me what happened between you and Tom- Ceci says and I block the phone looking at her.

- "Nothing much happened, we just stopped hanging out." I say looking at her.

- From the way you look it wasn't just that- Ceci says lying down next to me facing me- Tell me what really happened

- "Tom told me that he cheated on his ex-girlfriends, and I know that he's not ready to have a sense of commitment, and I wouldn't feel comfortable with him being away for four months knowing that." I say and a tear drips from my eye and I wipe it away instantly, I wouldn't cry for a boy I didn't even know who he was a week ago.

- "You're in love with him and you wish he was too, right?" I look at her in agreement. "Maybe he'll realize you were the one for him and come back, Anne." I say.

- "And I'm some kind of boomerang that he throws and I come back at any time?" I ask. "I want him now, I'm willing to date him now, I can't just wait for him to be available to me whenever he wants, I don't think it's right." I say looking at her.

- You need to understand each other about what you really want- Ceci says and I sit up in bed looking at her.

- Simple, I want Tom and he wants all of the girls in the world- I get up and leave the room going to the kitchen to have something to eat.

[...]

Today was the day of the concert and also the last day I would see Tom, I haven't talked to him since that day so I don't know how today would be.

- How do I look? - Ceci asks about her outfit and I nod.

- I look at her and she notices how I'm dressed.

- Anelise...Scheibler....Cooper....-Ceci says awestruck by my outfit- Tom is going to be very sorry for dismissing you, really, if he doesn't want you today, go for Bill- Ceci says and I laugh looking at her.

- I've already gone for Bill once- I say.

- So there's nothing stopping you from going again, twins have that positive point- Ceci says and I nod my head laughing.

[...]
We had arrived at the show and there were a lot more people than at the first one, also the venue was much bigger than the first one.

- We need to go in the VIP- Ceci says holding my arm and I quickly look for a staff as soon as I find one I go to him.

- Hi, me and my sister need to go backstage- The staff looks us up and down and practically laughs at us.

- Do you know how many girls say they need to go backstage?" The staff says. "Lots of girls, get out of here" The staff says and I roll my eyes.