You loving me is my biggest flex ~Part 2

12.

They got out of the car. And Aresu was madly happy about that. The silence inside had been terrifying. Suffocating. Endless.
And oh gosh, she was mad. She was furios.
"Explain," Aresu said coldly and sat down on her bed.
"Who's Ava?"
"She's my onenightstand. From before I met you."
"That much I know. She told me herself. I mean who's she to you. Now."
"I-I uhm... I'm not sure. Y'know we had that thing going and when she came back she immediately wanted to start where we left off. I had a big fat crush on her back then. But I fell in love with you!"
"Don't lie. What did you both do... since she came back."
Rare sighed heavily and pressed his palms over his eyelids.
"It all started when I was hanging out with Barry one and a half weeks ago.
He invited me over, selling new drugs."
Aresu's heart went cold. He wasn't clean? He lied to her about that as well?!
Her face twisted in painful realization.
"And— and then she was suddenly also at his place, smoking weed or s'mthing. Don't know anymore 's all fuzzy. Well he sold me drugs and we had a wonderful night and then she kinda flirted with me, saying that she wanted to do it again."
"Do what again?"
"Repeat the onenightstand. She was hurt because she thought we'd be together after all that. And yea I thought so too before I met ya."
"Did you do it?"
"What?"
"Don't play dumb."
"Yes. I love her."
That's it...
Aresu's heart shrunk to the size of a dried grape.

(Song: Little liar~Stevie Howie)-> that song is such a banger holy m*** fu*** goooddd ahhh—I'm on my knees
(Or the song: Little Girl gone~chinchilla)
(Or the song: champion~ Neoni)

"But she tricked us both today! She told you to wait for us, didn't she? She fucking planned that all out to make it seem like we were something."
Realization kicked it.
And sadness turned into frustration and lastly into fury.
She was not about to be manipulated again. Nah, not now.
She would not simply give in!
Bullshit! All of it...
"Don't talk to me," she said and looked into his eyes with cold bitterness.
"Aresu please..."
"NO! Stop mansplaining me! JUST STOP WITH YOUR FREAKING LIES! I AM NOT—"she laughed bitterly and looked away.
Not again...
"...falling for them..." she ended her sentence more calmly.
"I am sorry."
"You are?" Her voice held no emotions.
"You fucked up, Rafe. Again. And this time you fucked up entirely. It's a mess. And I won't clean up after you."
His teary eyes looked at her devastated, angered, sad.
"I don't love her! I don't even know why I said that just now! I-I wasn't thinking straight. I was just so mad."
"Why the fuck are you so mad?! I mean I fucked up, too, but let me remind you who the hell started that!"
"She was only my onenightstand! I am NOT in love with her! I never was! Barry gave me drugs, we took 'em and she said those things that made my head fuzzy and when I talked with her it felt like I was talking to you instead of the other way around. I-I ahhh for gods sake I love you!"
"You wanted to get clean..."
"And I tried! But I was so frustrated and it just...happened."
"You're lying. You're telling me that she fucking manipulated you into having sex with her again? The fuck?! Rafe what the fuck? You could've walked away. One does not simply end up in bed with another human! You have a girlfriend! You could've walked away just now in the store, too, but you let it happen! You kissed her right in-front of my eyes!"
"One does not kiss their best friend!"
"RAFE THAT WAS A MISTAKE AND I AM FREAKING SORRY! I SAID IT IMMEDIATELY AFTER DOING IT!"
"YOU DID NOT!"
"Are you deaf?!"
"I'm jealous of JJ. And you're too fucking kind! I knew it would end up this way!"
"Then why didn't you speak with me! I am NOT in love with JJ! I've never been! That's so stupid!"
"Aresu—"
"Fuck you! Fuck you and your lies! I know I messed up as well but I did not have sex with another person for one and a half weeks without telling my boyfriend! That's not a onenightstand that's an affaire! That's straight up loving another person! There is no freaking difference!"
"I can't deny that I loved being with her! The sex is great! She is a wonderful person!"
"I can't see that right now..."
"Because you're too old-fashioned! You're just a distraction from what I actually missed!"
It all came down to this.
It had to, didn't it?
The world seemed to crumble, the fire seemed blown out. The candle too wet to lit.
It crashed down.
Down.
She was that candle. She was that burned out light.
All came crashing down at her, all these built up problems, locked into her heart, now released and set free.
And the problems couldn't be solved!
How could they?
The problems piled up higher and higher and there seemed to be no end to it.
The mountain of unfulfilled things blocked all sunlight.
And the tears seemed to never stop flowing.
"I love you," she whispered and looked at him.
"Is my love not enough?"
"It's not. It had never been," he said and his dull eyes made her shiver violently.
"But why? Why? I-I don't understand! How can you even say that?"
"I'm just being honest!"
"Then don't be..." she said and hiccuped.
"Sorry."
And that broke her heart. It shattered. All pieces making the mountain of problems even higher.
"I can't love you. I don't know how I ever could."
Pain.
Pain was all she knew, pain so insufferable that she felt like drowning.
Drowning in her own tears where no sunlight would reach her ever again.
"I hate you. I wish I never had met you. Go now! Leave my house! Leave my life and have fun with that Ava-bitch!"

Imagine Rafe leaving aggressively while you fall down to sit on the bed.
Breathing is hard, everything feels suffocating while your wet cloths stick to your skin. The rain falls down on the window and it feels like spears are being pushed through your heart.
Listen to that song (you can decide which feels better) while imagining the atmosphere: