You loving me is my biggest flex ~Part 2

15.

Aresu was looking rough to say at the least.
She wore baggy trousers, a big oversized shirt, and her hair was tied in a messy bun.
Normally she would absolutely rock that look and her friend would say: "slay girl", but her skin was pale, her eyes red-rimmed and her posture seemed pulled down my an immense weight.
She seemed to be drifting away, not paying attention to her friends, not listening, not even caring to do so. Her make-up couldn't hide the fact that she was tired, not having slept much for the last five days.
Last Wednesday had been the worst but these five days did not magically cure her from the pain he put her through.
And now sitting in the cafeteria all she felt was fear.
What would she do if she saw him?
Trying to ignore the stabbing pain?
Approach him to say sorry? She felt like doing that but at the same time it all was too much and why should she say sorry and not him, didn't he start that? And why would she approach him first? Couldn't he do it? Would she begin crying? And oh god what if he screamed at her? What if he insulted her? What if JJ also hated her now? What if—
"Girl, breathe," Ki said, one hand rested on her shoulder.
She had just told her friend that the fight was rough and she kind of broke up with him.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
But her friends were very well aware of how she looked.
JJ was nowhere to be seen, though. Her friend-group a little split by their recent problems.

(Song: Are you with me?~ Nilu) 
(Or the song: Lonely~ Justin Bieber)

And then it actually happened.
She saw him.
He saw her.
Time stood still.
And Aresu felt like weeping all over again.
She loved him. Still.
She wanted to kiss him. Still.
And Rafe came over to their table, back tense, eyes glassy.
"Grisu. Can we talk?"
And Aresu's heart burnt.
"Yes please," she said, stood up and nodded to her friends to show them that this was quite alright.
Actually that was all she wanted. But her heart was beating so loud in her ears that she felt like fainting.
They walked into the yard, far away from the other students, right underneath the blossoming trees.
"Grisu. I need to apologize. I wanted to do that every second of the last five days but I also wanted to give you the time you needed. I messed up. Greatly. And I regret it bone-deeply."
His voice shivered.
Aresu said nothing at first, afraid to move.
"I-I just said things that you can never ever say in a relationship and I was the biggest dick on earth. I want to be honest with you: I have literally no idea why I cheated on you. And yes, that was freaking cheating. And I've never even been in love with Ava. Actually I— I'm so tired of fightings and pain and I'm tired of myself. You were right with everything you said, Grisu. And I'm so so sorry. I should've never done that. It's unforgivable. You were never a distraction. You were never a simple holiday-love. You are the best and most wonderful woman I know and I freaking love you so so much. I understand it if you can't feel the same—hell, I don't even know if I could myself— but, I needed to say that. And I need you to understand that everything I said in our fight was a lie. You are wonderful and no one could compare."
Tears streamed down his face.
"I'm sorry, too."
"What? No, no you have nothing to be sorry for!"
"I did it like you. I was jealous and kissed JJ to have a tiny revenge."
"That's nothing compared to what I did. And I understand why you did it. We were both angry and frustrated and—"
"I still love you, Rafe."
Rafe flinched visibly. Grisu had tears in her eyes and her statement was as clear as a mountain river.
"I know it is so wrong, but why doesn't it feel wrong? I really tried to hate you. I really did. But to be honest, all I felt was sadness. I am so so sad, Rafe," now Aresu cried, too. "I love you and it hurts so freaking much!" She added and closed her eyes in denial.
No matter how hard she had tried to get over him in these past five days, no matter how hard he had broken her, just seeing him now fixed all the cracks, made her heart whole, made her begging for more. Made her believing in their love.
Maybe she was naive. Maybe it was foolish.
But it was the only right thing she felt just now.
"Grisu. I hate myself for hurting you. I hate that I spoke so rashly. I hate that I lied and lied and lied and I hate that I am weak like this.
I've had everything with you. And I'm so sorry for ruining it," he said, hands extending to touch hers.
And she let it happen, not flinching back.
Stupid heart.
Beautiful heart.
Loving heart.
Her fingers brushed over his.
"Would you— try it again with me? If not that's fine I know I messed up and, and if you can't forgive me it's fine, too... but I-I can't live without you."
His voice was high pitched and raspy in fear, but Grisu simply smiled softly.