Sometimes Love Isn't Enough

Comfortably Numb

** Next Morning**

We arrive back at the hospital and head straight to the Critical Care Unit. We run into Patrick, who is at present sitting in the waiting room. I can feel the panic rising within my body as i grab Petes' hand for support. Has something happened with Brendon? Patrick must sense my feelings as he quickly reassures us that everything is ok. The staff are working with Brendon and doing their morning observations. I suddenly exhaled, releasing the breath that I wasn't aware I was holding.

He suggests going for a quick coffee whilst we wait for them to finish. I am grateful for him staying last night. He looks awful and has obviously not slept much.
"Patrick, go home, be with your family, and get some rest. If there's any change we will call you." I tell him. "Thank you again for staying last night."

As Pete and I watch Patrick leave, we finish our drinks and head  back to Brendon's bedside. As we approach the ward, we are greeted by Brendons' assigned nurse. He informs us that Brendon had a comfortable night and that his vitals are steady, for now. He notes that Dr. Merrik, Brendon's neurosurgeon, will be in shortly to speak with us.

As we enter Brendon's room, he looks just like he is sleeping. I still can't believe that this is happening. I feel like I'm living a nightmare. At least you can wake up from a nightmare, but this, this feels like we are stuck in a waiting room for the lingering waiting for someone or something to decide whether you live or die.

"Hey Babe, it's me," I say, taking his hand in mine. I gently stroke his cheek and kiss him. " Bren, I need you to wake up. I need you to know how sorry I am. I didn't mean what I said the other night. It was my anger talking. I love you more than anything." We have had so many stupid fights over the years, but we've always made up.

I hate seeing him like this, trapped between two worlds. The living and the dead. I keep watching him, hoping to see some flicker of life. The only flicker we see is the one on his heart monitor. For a while, Pete and I talk quietly between ourselves. Time goes by so slowly, and few hours later, Pete goes to fetch us a couple of drinks and some sandwiches from the cafeteria.  Sitting by myself, I am caught up in my own thoughts. I really should contact his parents, even though they made their feelings perfectly clear when we got married.
We threw our lives away, and we wouldn't last, they said. Well, we proved them wrong. The fact that Brendon denounced his faith and left the church also angered his parents. Initially, there was no contact, but over the last couple of years or so, they started reaching out to us.  I'd guess you could say we are all as stubborn as each other, but Brendon made it clear at the time that if they couldn't accept that we were married, then they could live the rest of their lives without us in it.

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*** Possible Trigger Warning _ Brain Injury Description ***
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Just as Pete returns, we hear a strange guggling noise, and suddenly alarms are going off here, there and everywhere. My heart feels like it's stopped beating. Pete is screaming for medics. However, they were already on their way as all his monitors are connected to the monitors at the nurses' station. As I'm  looking at Brendon, he begins seizing. I'm not aware of the noise that I am producing as Pete, and I are ushered out of his room. All we can do is wait in another goddam family room. As if aware, I feel the baby moving and kicking. I gently rub my bump letting m know that I can feel them."Hey Little one, you doing ok in there?" I whisper.
Pete asks if I'm. OK. "Yeah, just this one letting me know they're awake." I smile.

**Petes POV**

I leave for a few minutes, and all hell breaks loose. Just as I enter, Brendons' room alarms start going off, and I see him siezing on the bed, and Carlyn is frozen to the spot. I shout for medics, but they are already on their way. We are quickly pushed out of the room and ferried off to the family roomwhilst they work with Brendon. Carlyn is quietly crying and rubbing her baby bump.
"Carlyn? Is everything ok. With the baby, I mean."
Yeah, just this one letting me know they're awake." She smiles through her tears.

Everything happened so quickly. About 25 minutes later, the medical team came out of the room, and Dr. Merrick comes into the family room to speak to us. "As you saw, Brendon has suffered a post-traumatic seizure. This can happen after a brain injury and surgery. Currently, Brendon's GSC (Glasgow Coma Scale) is 4. This means that he is showing minimal signs of movement, his eyes are closed, and he is non responsive.  His reflexes are showing little to no response when stimulated. Now, it is still very much  early days, and the intracranial pressure in his brain has started to decrease. We have increazed his sedation slightly for the moment, however, hopefully, over the next few days, as we begin to decrease his sedation, we should begin to see him start to make some slight sounds and possibly start to move slightly.  Obviously, we can not give a time scale or guarantee that he will definitely wake up.. The length of time a person is in a comatose state is one of the most accurate predictors of the severity of long-term symptoms. The longer the length of the coma, the greater the risk of residual symptoms, particularly physical disabilities. I will say, though, I am quietly optimistic. He was brought in quickly and operated on straight away, so hopefully, there will be minimal damage. Just talk to him as you normally would, but Carlyn, you also need to take time to look after yourself as well. Especially given that you are almost 31 weeks pregnant. Brendon is being monitored every 15 minutes, and  we need to move him every 3 hours to decrease the risk of pressure sores and blood clots. I will be back later on to check on him. You can go back in now,"

When we enter Brendon's room, he is now settled and stable

**Carlyns POV**

He looks so peaceful now. We sit beside him, talking to him about anything and everything. "Bren, do you remember the time Brent dared you to streak across the sports field during Physical Ed? You were meant to keep your underwear on. But you just had to go that bit further and do it completely naked." I laugh at this memory. Pete cracks up. "You should have seen him, Pete. This chalk white skinny kid running through the football team and cheerleaders, stark butt naked, I was mortified. I couldn't believe he did it."
"I can," laughs Pete. I'm not sure if I was imagining it or if it was wishful thinking, but I'm pretty sure I saw the faint flicker of a smile on Brendon's lips.

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**A.N.**

The details regarding Brendons Brain Injury and his future recovery process and problems are from my own personal experience with a close family member.