Sometimes Love Isn't Enough

Ghost of You

Everyone is at our house this morning waiting for the tour bus to arrive. Josh came running in slightly late. Him and Tyler are staying on the Panic! Bus. I'm not exactly sure how that is gonna work out, as things are still quite tense between Josh and Brendon.
"Hey, how's my favourite little jellybean?" he says to  Skai whilst picking her up. Skai, let's out a belly laugh. She always laughs at Josh he's so good with her.
"Hey Jish? I ask concerned.  "Are you gonna be OK sharing the bus with Brendon?".
"Yeah, I suppose so. It makes sense. No point paying for a separate bus when there's room on theirs."
"Please promise me you will keep things civil. I don't want what's happening with Bren and I to interfere with the tour,"
"I'll try, Carlyn. That's all I can promise." he says, pulling me in for a hug.
"Are you going to be ok here?"
"I'll be fine, Jish. I have this little monster to keep me busy." I laugh.
"I know, but I still worry, you're my best friend, well along with Ty."
"I know, but please don't worry..."
"You promise you'll call me anytime you need to, ok?"
"I will, Jish, I promise,"
Just as Brendon appears with his luggage, we hear the sound of the tour bus pulling into the driveway. Everyone starts loading up their bags and stuff onto it.
Dan, Nicole, and Mike come and say goodbye to Skai and I.
Nicole looks at me sadly. "We are all going to miss you both so much. Who am I going to bitch about the guys with?" She jokes trying to lighten the mood.
"Josh is great for that, he's a good replacement. He loves a good moan." I tell her. "We will FaceTime, ok?"
"Ok, take care, Carlyn."
"You too, Nicole, speak to you soon."
Dan and Mike wrap myself and Skai up in a group hug.
"Look after yourself, ok? Just call us when you need someone to talk to,"
"I will, I promise. Listen, guys," I whisper. "This is going to be hard on Brendon, being away from Skai. Can you look out for him for me?"
"Carlyn, how after everything that's happened, are you still able to think about his welfare?" Mike asks mystified.
"You just can't switch off your feelings for someone you've loved for 15 years. I wish it WAS that easy, Mike, but it isn't, and he is Skai's dad. Regardless of everything that's happened."
"He really doesn't deserve you, Carlyn."
I look across and see Brendon cuddling and talking to Skai. As he looks over at me, I see his beautiful brown eyes brimming with tears. I have a huge lump in my throat and a knot in my my stomach. As the guys leave for the bus, Brendon brings Skai over to me.
'I dont want to leave Carly.'
"You need to, Bren, you don't want to disappoint your fans or management."
"I wish you were both coming..."
"We've had this conversation, Bren, several times. We need this time apart to decide what we want and decide what will happen next. I need to work on myself as well."
"I know what I want, Carlyn...."
"Do you, Brendon? Or is it just what you think you want? You really need to be certain."

As we walk out to the bus, Brendon is reluctant to let Skai go. I guess she senses this as she starts crying as soon as I take her. He bends over, smothering her in kisses whilst I try and hold back my own tears. Before I know it,  he smashes his lips onto mine.
"I love you Carly, always have, always will." he says into the kiss.
Before I can reply, he steps onto the bus leaving us to watch them pull out of the driveway.

**Brendon's POV**

I enter the bus and head straight to my room at the back.  The first thing I see is the crib that's still here for Skai. It has some of her baby blankets and her stuffed rabbit in it. Seeing it empty, knowing she won't be using it, kills me. I'm going to miss our cuddles and nighttime feeds when everyone else is sleeping, our special time. There's still some of Carly's stuff in here as well. I can still smell her perfume lingering in here.  Everywhere I look on the bus, there are memories of us happy with Skai as a newborn starting the tour. I can't believe the way things have turned out. How quickly everything went to Shit. I only have myself to blame, and I need to figure out how to prove to her that I want to be with her and Skai. That I will never, ever, cheat on her again. I really mean it this time....I will do whatever it takes.

*On the Bus**

Everyone has sorted out their bunk spaces and are currently playing Mario Kart. Brendon is in his room at the back of the bus. Nobody has seen him since they left.
"Do you think he's OK?" Dan asks to no one in particular.
"He just needs time to readjust to being on the road by himself again. It must be hard leaving Skai for the first time." Replys Nicole.

**Carlyn's POV**

After everyone has left, I feed Skai and put her down for her nap. I tidy up the house and get myself ready for my counselling session. Meagan is taking  Skai for a few hours to let me go.

The session went well, and I have some work to do before next week's session. Layer on tbat night,  I have just bathed Skai and put her pj's on ready for bed when my phone goes off. It's Brendon face timing us.
"Hey, have yous arrived?"
"Yeah, we've just had some food. I wanted to catch you before you put Skai to bed. How did your session go today?"
"Fine. I have some stuff to do for next week. Skai is trying to figure out where your voice is coming from. It's too cute!" I tell him as I let him see her on the screen.

Once the call ends, I put Skai down in her Crib and switch on the baby monitor. I've just poured myself a glass of wine, and I'm just getting settled on the sofa to watch Lucifer on Netflix when the doorbell rings. Checking my watch for  the time, I wonder who on earth is calling at 8 pm.  I make my way to the door, looking through the peep hole I can hardly believe who's standing there...

I open the door, and standing right in front of me is Daniel Coulter Reynolds. He looks at me in total shock....
"Carlyn? .....Carlyn Parker, sorry  I mean Urie?....Do you live here?"
"Well, I sure hope so, Daniel." I laugh.
"Sorry, I'm just shocked to see you! It's been quite a few years .."
"It certainly has. How are you Dan? Do you want to come in?"
"Sorry, yes, thanks."
"What brings you here?"
"I've actually just moved into the house next door. I was coming to introduce myself to my new neighbours. I had no idea they would be you and Brendon. How's the tour going?"
"It's a small world....yeah, it's going great. He actually just left this morning for North America he's away for 5 weeks. I can't believe you've moved in next door. It's so good to see you! It seems like forever since we were all at school together. I was sorry to hear about you and Aja splitting up."
"These things happen.  We were trying to make it work, but we couldn't. We are keeping it amicable because of the kids. It makes it easier on them. You've not changed a bit short stuff."
"Really Daniel, you called me that in high school."
"Well, you are still short, Carlyn," he laughs. Well, it's nice to see you. Can we catch up soon?"
"Sure, why don't you come over for dinner tomorrow night about 6?"
"Thanks, Carlyn. I'd love that. See you tomorrow."
"Night Dan."
As I lock up the house for the night, I hear Skai starting to stir. I take her bottle and head to bed for the night, feeling a bit better knowing that our old high school friend is next door. I know him and Brendon have bumped into each other over the years at events, but we haven't seen each other in years. I'm looking forward to catching up with him.