Sometimes Love Isn't Enough

I Get Lost Sometimes

*Time Skip 6 days *

Brendon and I have gotten back into a routine of sorts. He gets his cast off tomorrow. He has been back in his studio. He's trying out a few new things before the tour kicks off. He is adamant that tour starts sooner rather than later, well, obviously after the baby has arrived. We've had several follow-up consultations with Dr Merrik, and she's happy with the progress he is making and how well his memory is improving. She still needs regular check-ins with him, and she's more than happy to do these online. On the condition that myself and Pete keep a close eye on him. So myself and the baby will be going on the road with them. This suits Brendon, as he doesn't want to miss out on anything with the baby. As for Pete, well, FOB is going on the road with Panic! It's kind of like a double headliner show. They will be alternating each night as to who will be opening and closing. There will be plenty of support for us as well. Life on the road can be tricky at the best of times, but with a newborn, it's going to be a whole different ball game. Pete is on his way over to finalise some details with Brendon, so I've made lunch for us all.

I head to the studio to let brendon know Petes on his way. "Bren, Petes on his way over. I've made some lunch. Are you coming in?"
"Yeah, I've just finished up. I've made a few changes for the show. I'm looking forward to seeing what the fans think." He grins.

Just as we head in, Pete arrives.
"Hey Pete, I've made some lunch for us all. I know the pair of you tend to get lost when you are working on music and tour stuff, so I thought it was better to feed you both now."
"Thanks, Carlyn, but you didn't have to. You look great, considering you only have a few weeks until the baby is due. Brendon looks more like himself, pity they couldn't fix his ugly face though, " he laughs.
"Thanks Pete, love you too, man. You can be such an ass at times, " laughs Brendon.
Whilst we are having lunch, I savour the feeling of having my husband and his best friend joking around like old times. "Guys, I need to say something to you both. It's about the tour....After Brendon's accident, I have concerns regarding the flying piano."
"Carly, that was my own fault."
"Brendon, do you have any memory of tbat night? coz it still haunts me that we could have lost you. " I notice Pete looking between us, anticipating Brendon's reply.
"Some things, I remember we had a fight, and I stormed out the house and ended up at the rehearsal space. I had a few drinks to relax. I got up on the riser platform and didn't put the harness on, and I missed my footing. "
"I can't believe you were so stupid to go up there after drinking Bren....especially on your own!!. It's a good job that the security guard was there to call 911.
Pete has suddenly gone rather pale.
"I'm sorry, Pete, we shouldn't be doing this with you here. You were in as much shock as I was. I didn't mean to cause you any stress. "

**Petes POV**

It's nice sitting around the table talking like we did before the accident. Brendon looks more like himself, and Carlyn looks like she could go into labour anytime soon. I'm looking forward to getting out on the road again, especially with Panic! We usually have so much fun, although it will be slightly more different with a baby. Things are going great until Carlyn mentions the night of the accident. I suddenly feel my anxiety raising its ugly head. I look at Brendon to see if there is any recognition of my conversation with him whilst he was in the coma. He's told us he remembers their fight, drinking and climbing onto the platform. Does that mean he remembers what happened with Elise? I suddenly feel sick.

**Brendon's POV**

It's great to have Pete over, just like old times. We have some things to work out before we hit the road. I can't wait to have Carlyn and the baby with us. I didn't realise how bad Carlyn's concerns were regarding the Piano platform. The accident was my own stupid fault. I should have known better than to get onto it after drinking. From the corner of my eye, I can see Pete watching me. How am I going to deal with this one? I know he knows what actually happened that night, but he doesn't know that I actually know he knows. Fuck, this is complicated. Do I wait and see if he brings it up, or do I pretend that I actually don't remember everything? I know, that's a dick move, and Carlyn deserves to know the truth, but we are so happy just now. I mean, we've always had a great sex life, but man, this is next level just now with her pregnancy hormones. I REALLY love this version of her. Plus, I dont want to risk everything, especially when she is this close to giving birth. I dont want to stress her out.
"Well Pete, I guess we need to get started ironing out the last details for tour".
"Guys, that's my cue to leave." I get up from the table and give Brendon a kiss. "I'm going to lie down for a little while. Rest while I can before this one makes an appearance. See you both later. "

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"It really is great to see you recovering so well, Brendon. If it wasn't for the cast on your leg and the shaved patch on your head, you could never tell that anything had happened. "
"I know, Pete. I can't believe how lucky I've been. It could have been so much worse."
"Yeah, you could have been six feet under by now, Brendon. I can't believe you were so careless. I need to ask you something...."
"Shit....here it comes..."
"When you were in a coma. Could you, umm
hear us talking to you?
"Not initially, then I could hear pieces of conversations, but I'm not sure if they were real, memories or like dreams. Sometimes, I got lost in what was reality and what wasn't. It's kinda hard to explain. "
Can you recall me talking to you about that night?"
"Pete, I'm not sure what you're looking for from me? I just told you I don't know what was real and what wasn't "
"Ok, I am going to say one word, and I need you to be honest with me, ok? I need you to tell me what you remember."
"Pete, what exactly is this about?"
"Elise...."