ALONE AGAIN [ KTH 18+]

Chapter 38

'If you're the air I need, I'm dying just to breath.

I hope that you're not dying too.'

Nothing Compares by The Weeknd

Tears managed to roll down my face. I couldn't take it anymore.

The pain in my chest was too much, the air around me too cold and suffocating. It felt like a million needles had been jammed into every organ in my body.

My eyes burned as the salty tears flowed freely and uncontrollably down my cheeks. My legs shook so much that they could no longer hold my weight. I dropped down on my knees in an attempt to keep myself upright.

Why does he keep everything to himself, WHY?! my tears were uncontrollably streaming down my cheeks. He was hurting all this time!! Why did he never tell me?! Did he feel uncomfortable because of what people would say? Did he think that I'd be disgusted by him?

Why is he doing this to himself?!

The pain became unbearable. All I wanted was for him to wake so I could hug him tight. I will never let him go. This is not going to happen again. He'll never suffer alone ever again.

I rushed to the hospital the next morning; his mom was in front of the room where he's been staying. She was contemplating if she should go inside or stay outside. I noticed how her hands were shaking. I walked towards her and tried to calm her down.

"Go in" I said gently trying to comfort her.

She finally nodded, but still looked hesitant about entering the room. I decided to enter with her since my legs didn't want to carry me anymore.

Her eyes got teary as she saw his laying figure. "My baby" she whispered with a broken tone.

 "We have only twenty-four hours left" she broke down looking at me, she was shaking even more now. I held her while crying silently as well. We just stayed there for the several hours.

The nurses came to us every time, but there was no hope.

"What if he won't wake up?" Mrs. Kim asked worriedly, her voice trembled as her lower lip quivered in fear. I knew she hadn't eaten anything since last night.

"He will wake up" I tried to assure her.

"I'll never be able to forgive myself" she whispered, and with that she stood up and exited the room. I sat back down on the chair beside him, feeling useless and useless. There's nothing you can do now but wait.

Just be strong, Be strong. Please be strong. I'm here for you. You don't have to deal with this alone. I wish I could give him some words of encouragement, but he wouldn't hear me. So I just sat there with him, praying with all my heart that he wakes up.

But as if the universe was against me, I heard the monitor beeping continuously indicating that his pulse was weak. He's fading. And slowly my resolve was breaking, my eyes started filling up once again. No, not this time, I won't give in. He'll wake up, please wake up.

The doctor rushed in along with the nurses while I stood there in a corner, tears flowing down my cheeks.

"Please ma'am get out." one of the nurses motioned me to get out but I stood there. I don't want him to be alone this time.

I need him to be alive. I need him to be okay. I can't live without him. He's all I have. I need him.

I was lost in thoughts. He can't just die like this; he can't leave me all alone.

There are too many things that I need to tell him. I need him.

But then the beeping sound stopped, the monitor stopped beeping, and his breathing suddenly stopped.

FIN