Bitter | Bill Kaulitz

21

"Please! We all miss you Ray, like even Gustav and he's like heartless. Even me and you know I'm a women trasher, I got lots of wo— nevermind, please think about it." Tom doesn't finish his sentence because of a girl in the back, makes me laugh. I miss them.

"Just let me sort stuff out... I'll get back to you Tom."

"Okay! Text me." Then he hangs up.

I put my hands on my head out of frustration, I don't know if I wanna see Bill. He was soooo in love with this other chick after he confessed to me.

God dammit Tom was good. He's too good at convincing and it was annoying.

I scream into my pillow, I feel a little better.

I needed to think and be alone with my thoughts, now if I did decided to go I would wanna leave impulsively, so I packed now.

A week worth of outfits, ranging from skimpy to homeless.

I knew I never really wore showing clothes but I was confident in myself because of Bill, even in my glasses I thought I looked hot.

I packed a singular bathing suit.

I was able to pack a full suitcase worth of a week of things.

I saved up money from my job to buy this suitcase since I had been saving to go there.

I left the suitcase on-top of my bed, I wasn't hiding anything since my brother and mom knew I had been saving.

I just needed piece in mind.

I put my ear buds in and put my phone in my back pocket letting my slow songs play through as I thought of memories between Bill and I.

Now Playing... Bathroom - Montell Fish

The thoughts took over.

As he's leaving hickeys on my neck, he says. "Are you sure you wanna do this love."

He stopped and looked at me. "You're mine, remember that Rose."

All the flashbacks coming back to when he took my innocence, no regrets.

I was blushing at my own thoughts, I still wanted him bad. If I decided to go see him, I'm gonna make it known that he wants me.

My hands shuffled around in my hoodie pocket as I tried to remove THAT part of my memories out of my head.

As much as I hated assholes, when Bill was one it just made me want him more. To try harder for him until I had him for sure, clearly I still had some work to do.

I love how his arms felt around me when he held me in his warmth.

I love when his hand would snake around my neck and down my frame.

I love when he said my name.

I love when he got jealous.

The jealously had to have been my favorite, you could see it in his eyes. Jaw clenched and eyes burning my head.

His jealousy showed that he clearly wanted me to himself, and I couldn't say no to that.

I remember thinking love was a bunch of bullshit, but Bill made me second guess that thought every moment since I meant him.

I definitely miss the way he looked on me, don't even get me started I might start barking.

Joke........

I missed the band too though, they were my best friends.

Bill was my best friend that I'm so in love with.

Tom was my best friend that I tell everything and purposely flirt with if I want Bills attention.

Georg was my emotional support best friend who loves me like a brother.

And Gustav was just my best friend, I could cuddle him and it wouldn't be weird, he's so sweet to me.

All of these thoughts made me realize how much I really wanted to go see them.

Damn.

I have to.

I turn back around in my tracks, sprinting back to the apartments.

At this time their song Scream was playing, except the German version. Schrei, I always preferred the German version even though I didn't speak it, I tried.

I always thought rock music was mid until Tom convinced me to listen to their music and watch their concerts, they're the only rock band I'll listen to and sing my heart out.

They do some pop songs too which are really good but I really liked Pain of Love. Reminded me of Bill.

Because he was the Pain of Love between us.

When I got home I plopped onto the couch, catching my breath for how quickly I just ran.

My mom handed me a glass of water and sat next to me.

"Well hi to you too flower!" She laughed before sitting next to me.

"Oh man mom I think I'm gonna go." I say taking sips of the water.

"Go where?" She raises one eye brow.

"Germany momma, I've been saving remember?"

"Oh yeah! How long are you gonna be gone baby." My mom rubs my arm.

"I don't know but I'll promise to keep in touch, calls almost everyday or when I can." I smile big thinking about seeing them.

"Sounds like a plan! I'm so proud of you Ray... You've graduated and you're financially stable. Look at you go." My mom gives me a big hug and kisses my head.

I hug her back tightly. "Love you mom."

"Love you more flower."

I go into my room and see Clark sitting on his bed waiting for me.

"You going?" He looks at me.

"Yes!" I say as I grab my suitcase.

Clark got up and pulled me into a tight hug, and didn't let go.

He worked out and worked at a factory so there was no way I was getting out of this hug.

I start laughing in his shoulder since he was holding me so tight.

"I'll miss you little Rose." He finally let me go and smiled.

"Don't worry superman, I'll keep in touch with you too." I smile at him, superman was a nickname I made up since his name is Clark and superman's name is Clark Kent.

"If he messes with you or hurts you, call me and I'll be on a plane in seconds. I mean that." He raises his eyebrows at me.

"Yes yes I know, Love you Clark."

"Love you too."

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Long-ish chapter, at least longer than the last one, I have things I wanna put in the story I'm just not sure how to write it.

I also have writers block but I'm pushing through it as you can see.

I've also recently been learning how to edit on videostar, if you wanted to see my tokio hotel edits my tiktok user is livk4ulitz.

love u all