I'm Scott Malkinson

11- Confused

    Scott avoided looking at or even thinking of Clyde all Wednesday. He felt ashamed of himself for even thinking such things about the other boy.

    It wasn't that Scott was outright homophobic, he had never been unkind to gay people before. When Tweek and Craig went out he never treated them any differently for that, and Butters was probably one of his closest friends. He believed in being kind to everyone, love thy neighbor and all. Scott hated how the world treated gay people; he thought it was nobody's business who someone else chose to love and the fact that so many countries had laws about it was ridiculous.

    Scott had walked past plenty of gay couples in his life and never once looked at them any differently than any straight couple, but when it came to imagining himself in that kind of relationship, it made him feel physically ill. He knew God would still love him, because God's love is unconditional, but would he be disappointed? Probably. Would the church still accept him? Maybe not.

    Maybe he could ask Butters about that super religious camp his parents had sent him to, the one that was meant to help kids work through their confusion. That's all he was right? Confused. Scott was just confused. All he had to do was meet the right girl and then all his thoughts about Clyde would go away. All he really wanted was attention, for somebody to notice him, and Clyde had momentarily done so. That was all this was. It had to be.

    The last class of the day rolled around and Scott was confronted with the fact that he couldn't simply just avoid Clyde anymore, seeing as he sat right behind him in that class. Scott considered skipping it entirely. The thought of having to be around him made him feel nauseous, but the thought of losing his perfect attendance record made him feel even more sick. Scott Malkinson was far too much of a goody two shoes to skip.

    He slid into his seat, pulling out his notebook and fixing his eyes on the paper. All he had to do was keep himself distracted so that he didn't think of Clyde. He could handle that. It couldn't be that hard right? He'd gone fourteen years barely thinking of him at all, surely he could make it forty-five minutes.

    Apparently Clyde had other ideas. As soon as he made it into the room he sat down in his chair backwards and rested his chin on his arms on top of Scott's desk. Why was he always getting in Scott's personal space?

    "Hey, I've been looking for you all day," Clyde said. "But you were like, totally MIA. I thought maybe you stayed home sick today."

    This majorly caught Scott off guard. "What? What were you looking for me for?" He asked, feeling his cheeks heat up. Why would Clyde be looking for him? Scott searched his eyes for any hostility, afraid he'd done something wrong, but found none.

    "Butters said you got some good pictures of me at rehearsal yesterday. I didn't know you were like some sort of pro when it came to photography."

    "I do it a bit in my free time. That's why I joined the yearbook team," Scott answered, cautiously. He was still unsure about how much he should allow himself to interact with Clyde.

    "That's really cool," Clyde replied cheerfully. "Do you think you could take more photos of me sometime?" he asked. "I could use some cool pics for my Instagram, you know, to impress the ladies," Clyde said, winking at Scott.

    "Uh sure.." Scott found himself agreeing, "What kinds of photos were you thinking of?"

    "Maybe some football pictures, ladies love athletes."

    "Ladies only love athletes when they're good," Craig commented loudly, in his usual nasal and totally monotone voice.

    This earned him some giggling from Tweek. "Dude, you're such an asshole," the blonde told him.

    "I can get some football pictures," Scott agreed. "When's your next game?"

    "Saturday at 2:00," answered Clyde.

    "Alright, I'll be there," Scott told him, slightly regretting it the moment the words came from his mouth. Should he really be devoting more of his time to hanging around Clyde? Surely that was a bad idea given the confusion he'd sparked.

    He almost changed his mind right then and there, but Clyde looked so excited and he didn't have the heart to disappoint him. Instead Scott just bit the side of his tongue and tried distracting himself by listening to Mr. Garrison go on and in about how much he hated his ex boyfriend Marcus.