" No way ! N-No fucking way !" Eddie crosses his arms and turned away from the others. " Oh, come on, Eds," Richie persisted.
" It's the rules. You have to kiss me !"
____________________________________
After a game of spin t...
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Sonia's eyes lit up, but not with any astonishment or admiration hinted inside them. Actions speak louder than words, and Eddie was absolutely terrified. His sudden boost of confidence was gone, and his heart was aching at the thought of any disappointment his mother would express going forward.
How can you know someone for so long, be raised by them even, and yet, you still have no idea how they would react to situations like this?
Eddie could already feel the tears forming, as he looked down at his hand out of pure and utter shame. He was so scared that he didn't even want to so much as look in her direction. He ran his fingers through his hair and let out an exasperated sigh, hesitant to add on to his previous statement. But, at this point, what choice did he have? Someone had to say something, and his mother certainly wasn't going to be the one to do that.
"B-But, I...I really just--" He stopped, choking back the tears. He buried his face in his hands and sighed, causing a few tears to roll down his cheeks. Though, he quickly gathered himself -- sort of -- and wiped his face, sitting up in his chair; still refusing to look his mother in the eye.
"Honestly, I really don't know what exactly I am. It all happened so fast and all I know is that I...I kind of enjoyed it..in a way-" he found himself beginning to ramble now, lost in his own words to notice his mother's gaze beginning to soften.
"A-And, please, don't ask me any questions yet because I'm really not ready to answer anything, b-because I don't even know if I'd consider myself gay, b-but I think I am--- I...I mean- shit! No, mom, I-- " his voice began to crack and he could feel the lump in his throat come up with his latest sigh, "I'm sorry if you hate me. I know your beliefs and everything, but I just--"
Eddie was so caught up in his fear, and worry, that he could barely even hear his mother saying his name until, finally, she grabbed both his hands from his lap and held them comfortingly in hers. He soon grew the courage to look her in the eyes, and her whole demeanor seemed soft. Softer than usual. She wasn't angry, she wasn't frustrated; Eddie didn't know what she was right now, but he desperately wanted to check her forehead to see if she was running some sort of fever.
There were a few extra moments of silence, but her face said more than words ever could.
"Eddie, honey..." she said, pausing for a second to most likely think of a good response. "While this is a lot to take in..."
Eddie winced at her words, not because they were harsh but because the reality of his situation only just fully sank in; he's basically coming out to his mother and she's being kind of cool about it. Compared to how he thought she would react, this is the tamest scenario.
"This new...discovery of yours doesn't take away my love for you in the slightest." she smiled warmly at her son.
Eddie took his hands away and wiped his face with his sleeved before putting them back in his lap. "B-But," he sniffled, "You're a Christian. Isn't this like...against what you believe?" he asked, nervously. His voice quite shaky.
She hesitated before speaking, "Sweetie, what you're experiencing, while yes, it's not what God would want, but as a good Christian women, I'm told to accept others with open arms. And, if you believe that you like boys romantically, then I want to be there for you every step of the way." She said this so calmly, it almost made Eddie want to cry again.
"You're my son, Eddie, and I will always, always, love and accept you for who you are." she held his hands in hers once more, and grinned.
He had no words in this moment. He was in shock, he couldn't speak. What was he suppose to do, though?
"Are you okay, honey?" His mother asked, but before she could repeat her question, Eddie caught her by surprise and wrapped his arms around her neck. He embraced his mother, hugging her tight.
"I love you, mom." he whispered. "Thank you."
She quickly wrapped her arms around her son, returning the hug.
" I love you more, sweetie."
*** 12:15 am
It was late. Later than Eddie would usually stay up but he couldn't help it. He was absolutely elated, but at the same time he was quite nervous.
He was happy because his mother was angry with him, but he was nervous because his mother wasn't angry with him. Now that Eddie knows she's not a barrier between he and Richie, is Eddie just expected to like Richie without any complications? Is he suppose to act like what he and Richie are doing is normal?
Eddie felt terrible for thinking that. He had no problems with people who just so happen to like the same gender; Beverly is Bi-sexual. She likes girls and guys. But, for Eddie, that never even seemed like a possibility for him. He thought he would grow up and fall in love with a girl, not a boy? The confusion and frustration he felt with himself was causing such a migraine. He had to get up out of bed and stretch for a minute just to call his nerves.
"Calm down." He tells himself. "You're gonna be fine."
He paced around his room for a second before finally gathering enough courage to do what he had been wanting to do all afternoon. Now that he knew his mom was okay about his curiosity - for the most part - he felt even better about his impulsive decision.
He threw on a jacket and slipped on his shoes, making sure to double-knot them before quickly making his way downstairs and out the back door; hopeful that Richie would be in one of his usual spots, it being so late — or early —and all.
