from which a garden grows / purinz

Chapter 4/04

After a round of drinks-another virgin piña colada, of course, for Sakura-the couples get to know each other.

Irene learns that she goes to the same gym as Nayeon, Jeongyeon learns she went to college with Sakura's cousin, and Kazuha learns that Seulgi can get even drunker than her.

All night, Chaewon tries to steer the conversation away from herself. She shouldn't even be here anyway. She's the third wheel? More like tenth, considering all these couples.

But her relationship status is bound to come up. She's clearly not here with anyone.

"So, Chaewon, are you dating?" Jeongyeon asks.

It's such a simple, innocent question yet one that is so triggering for Chaewon.

"It's complicated," is all Chaewon says at first.

One Jeongyeon eyebrow raise and two alcoholic piña coladas later and Chaewon's recounting the Yunjin saga from the very first DM to the last time she was at her apartment.

By now, the majority of the cities population knows Yunjin and Chaewon's business. And they're all waiting on these fools to make it official.

"Ssssounds like you're in love with this girrrrl," Seulgi slurs.

"Egggssssactly," Kazuha backs her drinking buddy up.

Chaewon slams another soju shot. "Why does everyone keep ssssaying thaaat?"

The only sober one at the table has had enough. "Because it's true!"

The hibachi chef tosses a shrimp in Nayeon's mouth; Nayeon catches it and triumphantly shoots her hands in the air.

"You should go for it, Chaewon!" Nayeon encourages her, while chewing. "Bring her with you next time so we can meet her!"

"Yay! Friends!" Kazuha throws her arm around Seulgi. "Just galsss, being palsss, back me up here, Sunye!"

"My name is Ssseulgi and you're sssshit with names," Seulgi points her empty glass at Kazuha.

"Ssssorry."

Chaewon stares at the bottom of her own glass and in her drunken haze, blurts out her deepest insecurity.

"What if Yunjin and I are not as good as I think we are? C'mon, you can't say we measure up to the great Kazuha and Sakura or... sorry, what were your names again?"

"Nayeon."

"Jeongyeon."

"Irene."

"I'm Groot."

"Right," Chaewon smiles bittersweetly, "What if we're not you guys?"

Sakura lays her hand on top of Chaewon's and looks at her reverently, like a mother would.

"Chaewon, you're not us. You're Chaewon and Yunjin. You're your own thing. And that's perfectly valid. Every relationship is different and unique."

"But-"

"Hush," Sakura silences, "I'm going to tell you something my mom told my teenage self when I was questioning if I should go out with Kazuha."

Chaewon listens intently while Kazuha and Seulgi fight over fried rice.

"She said: 'Sakura, do you have enough seeds?' "

"Seeds?" Chaewon repeats.

"Yes," Sakura smiles, "Seeds of potential, are what my mother called them. Likeable qualities you see in your partner that could develop into something more. Reasons to keep coming back to them, to keep caring for them. In the case of Kazuha, it was the smile she showed me, every morning when I sat next to her. And the way she helped me with my math homework. And her smile when I got one of the problems right. And the way she believed in me-more than anyone else ever had. I already had a handful of seeds and I was eager to see what else would grow from them."

Chaewon leans her cheek on her hand, invested in the story. She hasn't heard much from Kazuha and Sakura's early days.

"So I went on that date and I picked up a few more seeds. I learned that Kazuha and I had similar plans for the future: we both wanted to study abroad, we both wanted to become homeowners before we hit our thirties, and we both were open to the possibility of having kids someday-at least one. I kept going on these dates, unlocking new pieces of information about her that I really liked, and those seeds sprouted into fresh fruits and veggies and trees and beautiful flowers. I just kept falling in love with her, more and more, each day until one day I was putting on a white dress and my mother was telling me: 'I think you've grown yourself a garden, sweetie.' And look at me now! I'm growing a baby!"

Kazuha taps Sakura's shoulder. "Who is this story about?"

Sakura laughs and boops Kazuha's nose. "You and me, silly! It's about how I fell in love with you."

"Oh yeah," Kazuha giggles, pointing her thumb ather wife, "This one didn't just fall-she plummeted. Broke a few bones. Ate shiton the pavement."

"This is my baby's other mother, folks," Sakura gestures to Kazuha, sass in hermouth but love in her eyes. "Look, Chaewon. You can't go into this expecting tohave the Garden of Eden. It'll take time. It took me and Kazuha years andto this day we still struggle with weeds and dry spells. Just ask yourselfthis: Do you have enough seeds to get there?"