ONE SHOTSSS

Chapter 3- Tmr

Megan: Thats ridiculous, Lian doesn't have a crush on me
Tess: *raises eyebrows*
Newt: Yes she does
Thomas: Yes she does
Minho: Yes she does
Lian: Yes she does
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Lian: Tess would throw herself in front of a moving car for you.
Newt: Tess would throw herself in front of a moving car for fun.
Lian:
Lian: well you're right
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Thomas: guys I accidentally ate tess' food, how long do you think I'll live?
Tess: ten
Thomas: ten what?!
Tess: nine
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Tess: Can you guys at least try and see it from my perspective?
Lian: (Crouches down)
Newt: (kneels down)
Minho: (Sits down)
Tess: I fucking hate all of you
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Tess: Is that vodka?
Lian: yeah
Tess: straight?
Lian: no, gay
Tess: THE VODKA NOT YOU
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Alby: How did you manage to accidentally drop Gally from the roof of the Homestead?!
Tess: We may have accidentally did it on purpose
Lian: *nodding*
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*car drive*
Lian: How many more miles?
Megan: 114
Lian: So I just go straight.
Megan: As hard as that must be for you, yes.
Lian: So gayly forward?
Megan: Gayly forward.
Tess in the back seats, dramatically singing: COUNTRY ROAAADSSSS....
Minho in the back seats, also singing: TAKE ME HOOOMEEE.....
Newt, next to them in the back seats: jesus save me....
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Alby: You lied?
Tess: I may have
Alby: You may have or you did?
Tess:
Alby:
Tess: I may have did.
Alby:
Lian: Honestly, what did you expect Alby?
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Newt: Only geniuses can say these words very quickly. Eye. Yam. Stew. Peed.
Lian: Oh c'mon. No one's falling for th-
Tess & Minho (at the same time): I'M STUPID
Newt: I'm glad you're aware of that fact
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Tess: FOUR MONTHS
Thomas: What is she talking about?
Lian: It's not that big of a deal-
Tess: THATS HOW LONG YOU STOOD BY AND WATCHED ME WATER A FAKE PLANT
Thomas: *burst out laughing*
Newt, entering the room:
So thats why it didn't die yet
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Tess: don't go in the Homestead
Newt: why?
Tess: i saw a spider
Newt: did you kill it?
Tess: i have two arms and it has eight, its not fair
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Lian: Would you rather stab Gally or-
Tess: Gally
Lian: I didn't even say who the or was.
Tess: I don't care. Gally.
Lian:
Gally:
Gally: I'm feeling a little unsafe.....
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Tess, running into the room:
LIAN-
Lian, whispering: SHHH!! Megan is sleeping
Tess: oh
Lian, still whispering: whats up??
Tess, whispering calmly: there's a fire
Newt: TESS BRING THE FRICKIN' WATER--
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Lian: when you die, I'll find you in the sunset
Megan: Awh
Thomas: awhhh
Tess: Bro you'll find her in a grave
Newt: Tess, no-
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Tess: *driving others somewhere*
Megan: Wow, Tess where did you get your driver's license?
Tess: My what?
Lian, reaching for the doorhandle: I need to get out of this fucking car
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Alby: You said you had nothing to do with that! Are you lying to me?
Tess: that depends on how you define lying
Alby: Well I define it as not telling the truth. How do you define it?
Tess: Reclining your body in a horizontal position.
Alby:
Tess:
Alby: Get out of here
Tess: Absolutely
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Teresa: Guys are hot
Lian: Girls are hot too bro
Megan: Why is everyone hot?
Tess: Global warming I guess
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Megan: I love nature, but nature doesn't love me.

*later that night*

Lian, talking to some plants and birds: Listen you chucklefucks. You better start loving Megan or we're gonna have a problem.
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Lian: Do you have any shampoo? I ran out.
Tess: No. I don't like the way it tastes.
Lian:
Lian: You eat shampoo?
Tess: Why would I eat shampoo when I don't like the way it tastes?
Minho: right, like seriously Lian, use your brain
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Newt: I regret buying you that blender.
Tess: *sipping toast with nutella from a mug*
Tess: why?
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(Lian and Megan are on a date while Tess with Minho are babysitting their kids)
Lian: I just got text from Tess
Megan: Oh yeah, what's it say?
Lian: ,,Where does the kids usually likes to hide?"
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*At Lian's and Megan's wedding*
Newt: WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!
Tess: releasing birds at wedding is romantic!
Newt: YOU RELEASED OSTRICHES
Tess:
Tess: They're still birds
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Lian: *sighs*
Tess: bored?
Lian: yeah
Tess: ......
Tess: Wanna start a drama for no reason?
Lian:
Lian: *sighs*
Lian: Why not
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Frypan: Someone keeps eating my food!
Tess, walking in with food in her hands and mouth: *fake gasp* oh nooo
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Tess: I'm an idiot
Newt:
Tess:
Newt:
Tess:
Newt:
Tess:
Newt: If you're waiting for me to disagree, its going to be a long night.
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Newt: If you ever do that again, I swear I'm going to throw you out of that bloody window- what are you doing?
Tess: checking how high the drop is to see if its worth it
Newt:
Newt: I'm done
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Megan: Whats the hardest thing for you to say?
Lian: I was wrong
Newt: I need help
Tess: worcestershire sauce
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Frypan: Did you bring eggs like I asked?
Tess: Even better!
Frypan: ......What did you do?
Tess, holding up a chicken: Her name is Nugget.
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Tess: Haha you're screwed
Minho: We're in the exact same situation......
Tess:
Tess:
Tess: shit
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Lian: what time is it?
Tess: pass me the guitar
Lian, passing the guitar to her: ok?
Tess: *plays the guitar loudly*
Newt, shouting: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE GUITAR AT FUCKING 3 AM
Tess: Its 3 am
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Tess: i didn't do it
Alby: then why are you laughing?
Tess: because whoever did this is a fucking genius
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*argument*
Tess: I hate you!
Lian: I hate me too!
Tess:
Tess: Lian, we've talked about this.
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Lian: *accidentally hits Megan*
Lian's mind: *trying to decide between saying ,,i'm fucking sorry" or ,,are you okay?"
Lian: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY
Megan: w-why
Lian: NO I- SHIT
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Frypan: you shouldn't be using a straw.
Minho: i know its bad for the environment
Frypan: no, its just an odd way to eat spaghetti.
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Gally: can you pass me the salt?
Tess: *throws salt shaker away*
Tess: Sorry, it looks like we ran out.
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Newt: You're smiling, did something happen?
Tess: Can't we just smile when we feel like it?
Lian: yeah!
Thomas: Guys did you know that Gally tripped and fell from the stairs?
Newt: *sighs*
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Gally: *lying on a bench wearing sunglasses*
Newt: can I sit here?
Gally:
Newt: Is he sleeping?
Tess: Nah he's unconscious. We..... Got into a fight....
Newt: oh god....
Tess: Yeah and I punched him too hard, so I put him on the bench and put sunglasses on him in case someone would think he's dead or something.
Newt: Could he be dead tho?
Tess: I mean maybe
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Lian: How would you like your coffee?
Megan: As dark as my soul.
Lian: So vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar?
Megan: *voice cracking* yes please
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Lian in the kitchen, making a coffee at 4am: *hears a noice and grabs her knife to attack* WHO IS IT?!
Tess: DA FUCK *takes her knife to attack*
Tess: I JUST WANTED A JUICE BOX!
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Newt: Remember, murder is never the answer
Tess: Of course. Murder is the question
Lian: And the answer is yes
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Tess, coming late: Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff.
Gally: *comes breathing hard* SHE PUSHED ME DOWN THE STAIRS
Tess: *bursts out laughing*
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Megan: What's your favorite flower? I love tulips. They're so gorgeous.
Lian: oh I like sunflowers
Lian: and narcissus
Megan: thats poisonous flower did you know that?
Lian: Yeah- I mean, oh really is it?
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Alby: Tess can I talk to you for a minute?
Tess: Oh someone's in trouuuubleeee
Tess: Its me
Tess: I don't know why I did that
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Frypan: Who ate my powdered donuts?
Chuck: *mouth full of donuts* not me
Frypan: then whats that white powder on your pants?
Chuck: *panicks* cocaine
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Tess: You can't kill me if I kill myself first
Minho: WHAT KIND OF LOGIC IS THAT?!
Newt: Actually, yours.
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Newt: Chuck said a bad word
Lian: Shit, why?
Minho: What the fuck happened.
Tess: Where the fuck did he learn that ?
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Lian: I didn't sleep at all last night.
Teresa: You know what they say, if you can't sleep its because someone is thinking about you.
Lian: Ha! Who would be thinking about me at 3am?
Megan: *panicked silence*
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