ONE SHOTSSS

Chapter 6- tmr

Lian: We're going to the store. Do you want anything?
Tess:

Tess: Worm on a string
Lian: the fucks wrong with you
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*texting after an argument*

Newt: I don't hate you
Tess: I don't hate you either
Newt: wow so romantic
Tess: hey what can I say I'm a modern day Juliet
Newt: also yeah thats a way to describe you
Newt: romantic and willing to die for literally anythjnf
Tess: nice spelling Romeo
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Lian: *sets down a card* Lian: ace of spades
Tess: *pulls out an uno card*
Tess: 4+ bitch
Minho: *throws down a Pokémon card*
Minho: jolteon, I choose you!
Newt: what the fuck are we playing?
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Tess: I threw up in the toilet
Lian: If you send me that fucking picture I swear to god
Tess:

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Newt: I'm going to need you to swear-
Lian: Fuck!
Tess: Shit!
Newt:
Newt:
Newt: I just.... I just need you to swear you won't touch the weapon for now
Lian: oh
Tess: for now?
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Thomas: you practically killed Teresa
Tess: She practically killed Newt, so I think we're even
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Tess: Knock Knock
Thomas: Who's there?
Tess: Not Chuck
Thomas: wha-
Tess: Not Winston
Thomas:
Tess: Not Teresa
Thomas:
Tess:
Thomas:
Tess:
Thomas: fuck you
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Some kid: how are kids made?
Lian: oh shit, Newt that one's yours
Newt: why- ugh okay....
Newt: well you see, when a girl and a boy loves eachother very much-
Tess: they fuck
Newt: TESS-
Lian: PFFF-
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Megan: hey Lin, do you think I'm stupid?
Lian: the only stupid thing about you is how stupidly pretty you are
Lian: now tell me who tf told you you're stupid

Tess: Newt do you think I'm stupid?
Newt: I don't think so
Tess: wait really?
Newt: I know so
Tess:
Newt: Tess you put the kitchen on fire again without even trying to cook anything-
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Minho: its so weird that Megan is literally good at everything
Tess: right, but there has to be something.....
Thomas: Maybe she's a bad kisser, you never know
Lian: no she's good at that too
Tess: what
Thomas: what
Minho: what
Lian: what
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Tess: ok so...
Newt: no. Stop talking. Stop. Just don't say anything. Not even a bloody word. I have enough. I'm tired. I want to get some sleep. Just shut up and let me be for a buggin moment.
Tess: I just wanted to ask if you want toast
Newt: oh, well no thank you
Tess: good because the toaster blew up and the kitchen is on fire and frypan wants to find me and kill me
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*Newt after getting Tess out of some problem again*

Newt: I'd say you owe me, but you're in so much depth to me you might as well be my slave for life
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Tess: if you fortunate enough, ur internal organs will spend their entire life in absolute darkness
Tess: but thankfully for them, I'm swallowing a glowstick
Minho: PFFF-
Lian: What the fuck- I know you're weird, but girl....
Newt: Who tf gave her the drink
Frypan: WHAT, SHE STOLE IT
Tess, singing: YOU WONT SEE ME FALL APAAAART-
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Lian: I would sell my soul to Satan for that
Lian: but tbh I would probably sell my soul to satan for half of a week old sandwich on the floor
Newt:
Frypan: poor sandwich
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Tess: Newt
Newt, preparing himself for whatever shit she's gonna say: yes, Tess?
Tess: What do you think would happen if I put my hand in a waffle maker
Newt:
Newt : ehm
Newt: We don't have waffle maker in here right?
Tess: no why
Newt: WHY DO YOU THINK?!
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Lian: its gonna take about a month to get to the gayville
Lian: but thats for straight people
Lian: if we walk at the power of gay it should only take a week
Thomas: what-
Newt: don't ask, Greenie
Newt: its not worth it
Newt: trust me I tried
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Lian: I have a plenty motivation to sell my soul to the dark lord satan
Lian: no I just don't have a will to live
Megan: Lian, babe please-
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*when they finally get phones*

Newt: Hey where are you
Tess: I'm coming hoe
Tess: Home! *Not Delivered*
Tess: HOME! *Not Delivered*
Tess: fucking piece of shit
Newt: .....
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Lian & Tess with people be like:

Random guy: C'mon, won't you ask me out?
Lian: you're right. Go out.

Random guy: hey can I buy you a drink
Tess: Actually, I'd rather have the money

Random guy: haven't I seen you some place before?
Lian: yes thats why I don't go there anymore

Random guy: I think I could make you very happy.
Tess: why? Are you leaving?

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Newt: Have you heard from Tess?
Megan: I'm sure everything's fine. She's with Minho and Lian.
Newt: No offense, Megan, but those two sentences don't go together.
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Lian: I don't have a crush on Megan
Lian: she's just someone I stare at and I like
Lian: and when she's not here, it ruins my day
Newt: thats called a crush Lian
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Alby: What do you call breaking the rules?
Tess: a hobby
Newt: *looks at Tess strictly*
Tess: That I do not engage in
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Tess: am I right Newt?
Newt: I'm almost certain you're not, but to be fair, I wasn't listening
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Lian: I have a plan
Newt: It can't involve murder
Lian: I have no plan
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Newt: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone
Lian: *reading her instructions that says "stay away from the weapons"*
Tess: mine just says "Tess no"
Newt: I want you to apply it on every possible situation
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Tess: remember that time when you dared me to break Gally's arm
Newt: No, I said, "Tess don't break Gally's arm" and you said, "don't tell me what to do"
Newt: and then you broke Gally's arm
Lian: well he's right.....
Lian: But it was fun, so-
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Newt: Personally, I blame you
Tess: How can it be possibly my fault?
Newt: because otherwise it would be my fault. Just think about it, aright?
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Tess: There's always that one fucking person who's not down for a murder
Newt:
Tess:
Newt: Well, sorry I have MORALS
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Tess: As Albert Einstein once said, alcohol never solved any problems, but neither has water.
Newt: for the love of god, EINSTEIN NEVER SAID THAT
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Tess: he died of natural causes
Man: You kicked him off the roof
Man: *shows the record of Tess kicking the guy off the roof*
Tess: Gravity is natural
Lian: PFFF-
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