Unexpected Love

87. The Last

My God! When Suga came down leaving the stage for RM he was ecstatic! He couldn't stop telling me about how it felt like their beginnings.

— "Aaaghh Nabi... it felt so good next to RM! It felt like our first rapping sessions! Shibal! Thank you for being here instead of out there watching the concert, I love you."

— "I already told you, Babe, I'll always be here waiting for you."

He had to get ready for the next stage, and it was just great to see him in such a blissful mood, and before he went back up he gave me a hug and a kiss and told me

— "Nabi, this next stage is extremely important to me, and I'm already feeling a gush of emotions going wild inside me. I know how much you love 'Snooze' and 'Amygdala' so I want you to go ahead and watch from the front, it would mean the world to me knowing that I'll be singing them for the last time with you there. But please promise me you'll be back here when I come down, ok?"

'Singing them for the last time'... Fuck! I felt my heart starting to break into a million pieces.

— "Thank you, Love! I'm so touched! Of course, of course, I'll be there, and of course, I'll be back here by the time you get down for the encore."

— "Ok, I guess I'll see you in a couple of songs, yeah?"

— "Of course Babe, right next to the stairs."

Fuck, fuck, fuck! I couldn't stop crying! My dear Yoongi with all his emotions out of control! How on Earth can there still be haters criticizing these wonderful boys? Can't they see what music means to them, how they feel for their fans, how important it is for them to share their songs with all of us? Can't they fucking see how pure and true their souls are?

My God! I had to pull myself back together and run backstage to be for him just in time! I couldn't let him see me all messed up with tears and shit, so I ran as fast as I could and got there just in time to receive an overwhelmed Suga.

— "Bella! Please hold me! Hold me and don't let go! Sshibal! I can't stop crying! Please hold me tight!"

— "Babe, it's ok, I'm here and will never let you go. You were so beautiful up there! My Love, you totally gave yourself to the world, and it was the most beautiful thing!" — I held him so tight and whispered love words to his ear as he slowly started to calm down, but we had to let go of our embrace because he had to get ready for the encore.

— "Aish Nabi... I feel I can't anymore, it's my last time to be on stage! I can't..."

— "Babe, look at me. Instead of dreading this moment enjoy it! Yes, it'll be your last time on stage for a while, but you'll come back bigger than ever, you'll all come back to shine brighter than the universe! So go now, enjoy the fucking moment, and make every single ARMY go wild with your surprise."

— "Neh, you're right. Thank you! Let's give ARMY what they have been waiting for so long." — he gave me his mischievous smile preparing himself for his special surprise. — "Go ahead and enjoy the encore, you'll soon find out about the ending, it's ok if you don't get back on time when I step down for the last time."

— "Wait, there's something else at the end besides your surprise for ARMY?"

— "Neh, I told you that nobody knows about it, only the crew. I have to end this in a meaningful way, you'll see."

— Don't worry Babe, I will be here, even if I have to run and tackle anything or anyone that gets in my way, I'll be here."

— "Aiishhh Nabi! Ok ok, tackle whatever you want, I'll see you here."

FUCK! I sure didn't see this encore coming! I did know about him revealing his tattoo in such a playful way, and of course, he drove ARMY wild! He wanted them to scream and they sure screamed the loudest ever! It was beautiful to see him smile during all the encore, he made himself that promise and he kept it to the very end. But, I sure didn't know how he would leave the stage, that was his big secret, and it got me in a river of tears once more.

Let me try to explain the meaning behind his ending. Suga always expressed his rawest feelings, emotions, and thoughts through his alter ego, Agust D; he would free himself through him, hence through his music and Agust D trilogy. However, there were always some things that kept him tied to many of his fears and hardships of life, and that's how the song "Amygdala" was born, it took him many years to finish this song. This last journey of Agust D was to release himself of all his fears, heal his emotional wounds, and grow free to let himself enjoy his life to the fullest. So, the door represents him opening his Amygdala and embracing all fears in order to live a good life. It's about learning to live with past hurtful experiences because everything we have felt in life, good or bad, is what has built us up to what we are now. And once you embrace your past, you can live your present, and build your future every day.