Look at me

Chapter 9

Jane didn't know why Rafe was acting like this, but she wasn't worried about him.
When they arrived, the house wasn't the big white house of the Cameron. It looked more like a broken camper.
"What is this trash?" said Jane. "Hey Pogue do not talk like this about my house" said Barry. "This is yours? ahahahha" Jane was so surprised "Cameron you hate the pogues and at the same time they are your friends?" "Shut the fuck up Jane" said Rafe. He was so upset and bothered by that girl.
J "Why am I here? Can you explain?"
R "I'm gonna explain nothing. Now shut up and go inside the home"
J "I'm not your pet Cameron so do not talk like this to me or-"
B "or what?"
Now Barry was holding a gun in his hand. "Barry put that thing down before I kill you with my hands" said Rafe. He was a psycho, but he didn't want to hurt the girl. "Do not act like you care about me Rafe. We both know that you hate me" "This doesn't mean that I wanna kill you. Now shout that mouth and go inside the house". Jane was so angry with the kook guy, but she didn't want to discuss with him, so she went in the house. When she went inside she noticed some cocaine on the table, many empty beer bottles and a knife. She wasn't so scared. Her dad was like that. She found a bottle of beer and decided to drink it on the coach. Rafe and Barry were still outside, discussing about the girl.
B "Why did you bring her here? What are we supposed to do if I can't kill her?"
R "Barry we are not gonna kill here. She is gonna stay here for some days so the Pogues will come here to take her and we will hit those motherfuckers ok?"
B "Ok but if the police arrives here I'm gonna kick your ass. Got it Kook?"
R "Ok don't worry".

After that Rafe showed to the girl the bed where she could sleep and brought her some food. "I don't want to eat" said Jane. She was like a decoy so she wouldn't accept nothing from that murder. "If you are not gonna eat you'll die earlier" responded Rafe. "So? You don't care if I'm gonna die. You already killed Peterkin-"
"SHUT UP!" yelled Rafe.  "I know what I have done so you don't have to remind me. Do you think I wanted to kill her? I did it for my father. He always chooses Sarah over me so for once I wanted to do something for him. To be appreciated by him. He traits me like shit. He always hits  me when he can. He never said something nice to me. I wanted to make him proud of me but maybe I just made things worse. So yes I killed her to protect my father, so that he could appreciate me for once but it didn't work. Now can you shut up and eat?" Rafe said those words with rage and sadness. He wanted to be appreciated by his father so he did something terrible that he didn't accept and he hated when people reminded it to him. He had tears in his red eyes but he didn't want to cry in front of Jane.
She was shocked. She didn't know it and felt guilty but this didn't justified Rafe.
"I'm sorry I didn't know it. I know this feeling because my father is the same". Rafe was looking at her like he was waiting for something, but after some seconds he left the room.

That night Jane and Rafe didn't sleep. She was thinking about Rafe's words. She perfectly knew what  he was talking about so she knew what Rafe was feeling in that moment. Meanwhile Rafe was thinking about Jane's words. He didn't know what she meant by "My father is the same". He didn't think her father was like that. Probably he should've helped her. Talk to her. But then he remembered that he was a kook and she was a Pogue so they were supposed to hate eachother. But it was like they couldn't. There was something between them. Maybe hate. Or maybe something more. But they didn't realized it yet.