Look at me

Chapter 19

All the pogues now were looking for the cross and decided to make a plan. Put all the crew and the Camerons in a room so that they could search the cross peacefully. While they were conducing everyone in the room, Rafe knew something was up so he decided to do not follow everyone. After some time, when the Pogues got divided, the blond guy appeared in front of John B with a metal tube in his hand. He scared the pogue and tried to hurt him.
John B now was on the floor an Rafe tried to kill him, but while John B was escaping from him, they both heard a female voice.
"What the hell are you doing" yelled a girl. Rafe turned around and got distracted and John B ran away. "What are you doing here" said Rafe to the girl. It was Jane.
J: "Have you fucking lost your mind? You were killing him"
R: "No, I wasn't. I just wanted to scare him"
J: "Sure and I'm supposed to believe you. Fuck you Cameron" said the girl while pushing him.
R: "Jane wait please" said him by catching her arm
J: " What do you want you fucking asshole"
R: "Jane I know that you're mad at me but please wait, we need to talk"
J: "About what exactly? How you want to kill me and my friends?"
R: "I could never touch you Jane"
J: "Sure" said the girl with a sarcastic laugh
R: "I'm real for that. I need to tell you something and I think that you should too"
J: "The only thing that I wanna tell you is that I hate you"
R: "Sure. Next time don't say ballshits"
J: "What do you mean?"
R: "Have you seen us? We both say we hate each other, but anytime that we are together we just can't look apart. I don't even know why but I just feel that I need to protect you and technically I am supposed to hate you. I do, of course, but it's a weird feeling and you know what I'm talking about"
At that moment Jane looked at him weirdly. She felt the exactly same way as him and she couldn't believe at it. They were looking at each other but then the girl remembered that she couldn't betraye her friends. Not now.
J: "I don't think it's the appropriate moment to talk about our feelings Rafe" said and looked away.
R: "I think it is and don't try to look away. Look at me"
She put her eyes on him again but she was so scared to face her feelings for the first time. Maybe she could have done it now, with him, in that moment.
J: "I-" she couldn't even speak. "I just know that now is not the right moment. We are supposed to fight, remember?"
R: "Yes but-"
J: "I know what you're feeling, but I also know that the cross is more important for you"
R: "I assure you it's not"
J: "You just proved it"
R: "How?"
J: "You were killing John B, Rafe"
R: "Then let me show you the opposite"
J: "It's too late"
The girl looked at him with a sad expression. She wanted to tell him the truth, but her mind was stronger than her heart. She couldn't show her feelings for him. Not in that moment. They were looking at each other's eyes so intensively that they couldn't stop. Then a sound interrupted that moment and the girl ran away. He was still looking at her and dropped the tube.

After some time the Pogues tried to take the cross, but then they had to escape. Ward tried to kill Sarah, John B saved her but he was hurted by that Cameron. After that, all the pogues were now on a little boat, trying to escape. Rafe immediately took a gun and was pointing it to them, but he didn't shoot. He was looking at them, or better he was looking at HER. Jane turned back and for a moment she met again those blu eyes. Those eyes that were the same color as the ocean. Those eyes that she got lost everytime that she met. Those eyes that she loved so much, but tried to hide it.
Meanwhile Rafe wanted to pull the trigger, but he couldn't. He already hurted too many times Jane and now that was the moment to prove her that he actually cared about her.

Rafe's mind
I can't do this to her. I can't hurt her again. Now I need to prove that I care about her. But why do I actually care. She's a Pogue and I'm a kook. It can't be.

Jane's mind
Come on Rafe shoot. Prove me that you actually are the same. Prove me that you don't care about me. Why you're standing like that without doing anything. What the hell is wrong with you. What the hell is wrong with me... with US.

In that moment they both looked for the last time at each other, before disappearing. That was the moment that they both realized there was something between them. Maybe that feeling of "hate" was something else, something bigger. That was weird for two people like them. They could finally think about that situation, but now it was too late. Rafe was coming back home, while the Pogues were going nowhere. It was too late for Jane to talk with him, but maybe that time would have been useful to clear her mind. The same thing was actually for Rafe. They could finally face that situation and understand what they were feeling for each other.