The Thoughts That Weren't Suicidal

11 | Liability

"She's so hard to please, but she's a forest fire."  - Liability 

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"I don't want to go to school today," I yelled from my spot in bed. For some reason, the thought of it was unappealing at best, and I just wasn't feeling it. I wasn't really feeling anything today. All I want to do is lay in bed all day. And tomorrow. And for the rest of my life.

"Adri..." Cole called slowly, cautiously approaching my bedroom door. "Are you okay?"

That was a dumb question on his part. Can anybody recall a time that I was ever okay? Because I surely can not.

"I'm not going to school today," I stated and then turned away from my door. I went to school for almost a straight week. I think that I should be allowed to miss one day.

"Maybe you should take your medication before coming to that conclusion." He suggested, and I heard my door slowly creak open.

I shook my head and stayed turned away from him. My medicine is all the way in the kitchen, an entire floor away from my bedroom. Let's not forget the fact that I'd have to walk to the kitchen and leave the safe, warmth of my mountain of blankets. All of this just to take faulty medication and sit inside of a brick building for seven hours. No thank you.

I hate to say this, but maybe you should go take your meds. You still want to go see Kris; even after yesterday? Yes, I do. What is wrong with you? Nothing is wrong with me, it's you; so go and take your stupid meds.

"Alright. I'm coming."

Cole's body visibly relaxed, and he pressed a kiss to the top of my head.

"Thank you." He sighed, and I just rolled my eyes. Don't thank me. Thank the other crazy person.

I followed Cole out of my room and into the kitchen. He made his way towards the stove, and I grabbed a granola bar and my medicine container before sitting down.

"Cole," I started before I even knew where I was going, and he hummed as an answer, "Why do people exist?"

"What do you mean "why do people exist?"

"I mean, "Why do people exist?"

Cole sighed, before turning back towards me with a glass of water and a cup of coffee in his hands. I held out my hands in the direction of the coffee, but he just gave me a look before handing me the glass of water. I began eating my granola bar with a sad pout.

The last time Cole let me have coffee, I ran away. I came back a few hours later but neither my parents nor Cole appreciated the worry.

"Did something happened at school?" He asked knowingly, and I gave him a look.

"Something always happens at school."

This time he shot me a look. "Did something out of the ordinary happen at school?"

"No, I just don't want to go to school. Nobody wants to go to school." I reminded him, throwing my arms in the air. For once, I wanted to be a normal teenager, every teenager hates school, but it just had to be on a day where Cole felt like being a responsible adult. Granted that was most days, but one day I'll get lucky.

"When I was in school, I liked going to school. Ellie likes going to school." He reasoned, and I scoffed unimpressed.

No offense to Ellie, but if I got to sit around and draw all day, I'd like school too.

"Where's Mom? You told me that she was home, and I didn't see her yesterday or last night?" I asked, not so subtly changing the subject.

He looked down at his coffee, and I could already tell that my plan had backfired. "That was two nights ago Adri. You know how she-"