The Thoughts That Weren't Suicidal

12 | Writer in the Dark

"Hated hearing my name on the lips of a crowd" - Writer In The Dark

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Ten years from now, I will never be able to say I had a lot of friends. One because I'll be dead and two because I don't like people. At every school I've ever been to, I made at most one friend and then occasionally talked to their other friends. However, that occasion would only pop up if my singular friend was present. Other than that, I was pretty lonely.

Like now.

You don't have to sit here by yourself; Kris left the seat next to her open. What part of "we're avoiding Kristina today", don't you understand? The avoiding part. It means we aren't making any contact with her today. I know what the word means, I just don't understand why.

I like to believe that Cole knows what was best for me. Even when I don't like it, I still do what he says (most of the time) because I believe in him. Right now though, my gut felt a lot more right than him.

"Adrianna, I would like you to choose a seat and stick with it."

"Yes ma'am."

"Good morning Adri."

"Don't talk to me Kris. Just for today."

I think that I looked desperate for a split second because for a moment Kris's face fell uncharacteristically serious. Then after a few seconds of silence, Kris just nodded at me and turned back around.

I felt better already.

Δ

I've made a mistake. Like a really big one. I really didn't think that today would end up like this. I was so calm a few moments ago and then all of that calm jumped off the tallest cliff possible, without a parachute, headfirst into a swarm of peace eating sharks.

"Adrianna put down scissors the before you get into trouble!" Kris yelled before trying to pull me back from behind, but all I had to do was take a swipe at her hands with the scissors and she was instantly two feet away.

I then turned back to my very pale target who was shaking so bad that she could probably start an earthquake.

How did we end up here? Well.

It turns out that Kris doesn't need to talk to me to annoy me. All she has to do is exist and about five veins are popping out of my head. Kristina's unfortunate talent of annoying me isn't what got us in the middle of a hallway with a pair of scissors though.

Kris and I were heading towards the cafeteria when our path was interrupted by the last person I wanted anywhere near Kristina.

"Hey Adrianna! Why are you hanging out with..." Nate shot Kris a dirty look, not even bothering to say her name. "I thought that you were sitting with me today?"

I shrugged. "Changed my mind. Sorry."

I didn't around to see his expression, but Kris apparently did because I heard her laughing behind me. A threatening growl fell from someone and I instantly turned back around glaring at Kris. I did not have the patience for her to start anything today.

"Kristina let's go," I called out to her satisfaction. She gave Nate a parting smirk and then fell into step next to me.

"You know that she's a dyke right!? She might try to rape you!"

The whole hallway fell silent and I sighed, stopping in my tracks. I need to take a few moments to figure out how to react. Hitting, biting and yelling are all off the list of possibilities. Plus, if I do decide to stick with a verbal response, it couldn't be homicidal. That didn't leave me with a lot of options.