Uncertain Something

14.

Sinclair Jade Navarette

[Hi, I just got home. Why did you call?] I can still hear Klea's keys on the other line. [Clair, are you there?]

I waited for a few seconds to answer. I'm still thinking of how I could put my thoughts into words.

"Yes. I, uh..."

[What?]

"Bry confessed."

Mariin akong napapikit nang masabi ko na iyon. I can still remember him saying that he likes me. And as much as I wanted to rub it off of my head, it just keeps flashing back.

[What the hell?] She laughed in amusement. [Bro, what did you say?]

"I thanked him," I awkwardly answered.

[Really?] She laughed again. I don't get it. This is not my first time thanking someone that likes me. I do it all the time, so bakit ganoon ang reaksyon niya? Parang hindi niya pa expected na gano'n ang isasagot ko.

"Yeah. What else would I do?"

[Say you like him back? Or like at least reject him if you don't.]

"I'll feel rude," I answered. "We were good and having fun lately. Baka iwasan ako no'n kapag ni-reject ko siya."

[Are you scared you'll lose him?]

I nodded as if she can she me. "Of course, Klei. It's hard for me to find friends. I must keep them."

[Okay. But don't you really like him back? Akala ko pa naman you were going on dates already.]

"He's a friend. A friend stays a friend." Diin ko. Para sa akin kasi, mahirap iyon. Once you lose the relationship, you might lose the friendship as well.

[Wasn't he your type?]

"No. I mean, close, but no," sagot ko.

[Bakit? What's your type, specifically?]

"I'm not certain. Basta dapat someone that cares about academics but not the nerdy type, hygienic, fun to be with, has a sense of humor-"

[Gano'n din naman si Bry, 'di ba?]

"I want someone that has a good heart. Someone that won't judge me. Someone that'll understand me when things get rough," I continued what I was saying. "Bry haven't seen that side of me yet. He only likes this version of me. Pa'no na lang kung makita niya kung paano ako mag-drama? Kung paano ako atakihin ng anxiety? Kung paano ko saktan ang sarili ko? There are still a lot of things that he hasn't seen yet. Marami pa siyang hindi alam sa akin. That's why I'm being skeptical if he genuinely likes me or he only likes the personality that I show him."

I heard Klea sigh. [So your type is... Someone like Ace?]

"Stop playing with me right now," natatawang sabi ko. Iyan na naman siya sa pag-ship sa akin sa mga babae.

[Sorry, it just felt like you were describing her the whole time.]

"I wish she was a guy," I absentmindedly uttered. "If only she's a guy, I'll date her."

[Caught you! You're slowly turning gay!]

I laughed at her. "Don't get high hopes, I'm still a hetero," I denied.

[Sus! Baka hindi mo lang namamalayan na gusto mo si Ace kasi panay deny ka that you're starting to like girls.] I didn't answer when she said that. I honestly don't know. I haven't thought about that yet. [But speaking of Ace... Nakapag-usap na ba kayo nang maayos?] I sighed upon hearing that.