was it ever real?

38. gone

"wh..what'd you mean nano? what did he do?" i start inspecting her arms and hands for any bite marks or blood. it's very unusual for nano to bite her, let alone bite anybody but-

"jenae!" vinnie shouts, pointing to the window. wasting no time, i jump up to see what all the commotion is about. but when i eventually see him, my world comes crashing down. nano's chasing a dog down the street with his black leash flapping behind him.

no...
no..

before my eyes water, i scramble past vinnie and solana, down the stairs, rushing out the front door, screaming for him. "NANO!" i call, running in the direction both dogs ran, but they're nowhere to be found. "NANO!" i shout again, close to crying now. my feet keep running until i face the fact that he's gone.

the constant barking from both dogs quiets the neighborhood until they're completely unheard of. just like that, my best friend is gone.

my heart rate quickens and pounds heavy in my chest, making each breath pudgy. "but tomorrow..." i murmur to myself, staring into my palms with burning blurry eyes. tomorrow is the conference with rihanna's fashion stylist.

behind me vinnie shouts when he catches up. "jenae!" he leans down to inspect me closely, "are you okay?" instead of responding, i fall to the hard street concrete and begin sobbing like a giant toddler. all my memory can recall is the picture of nano chasing the little yorkie and not even looking back when i called out to him. it hurt me to my core.

soon dad and jamila approached us, both constantly asked me questions back to back.

"are you okay coco?" no
"jen what happened?" i don't know
"are you hurt?" physically no
"how did he get loose?" i don't know
"where did he go?" i don't know
"who was the other dog?" and i don't know!!

why the hell are they asking dumbass questions that i can't answer. i don't know!! if i knew those things i would be able to stop sobbing right now and fin him. i have no idea where he is, if he's hurt, or if he's the one that hurt the other dog. never in my entire life did i think that i'd have to make a missing dog poster, but boy was i wrong.

some might call me dramatic, but it really does hurt.
my heart truly feels like it'll be stabbed if i even think of nanos name.

into my palms, i cry even harder. my chest presses heavily with each long, but emptied, breath i take. I'm still stuck in the middle of the street sobbing on about this shitty night. first jamila and dad get into it, then mom's brought up, I'm lied to, and now my dog runs away the night before I have to leave.

great.

when jamila hears me sob even more desperately, she weakly places her hand on my shoulder to attempt to comfort me. but i jerk it away.

out of concern, jamila weakly puts her hand on my shoulder, but i immediately jerk it away, recalling when she did it to me earlier. now, two other people run to us. it's aaron and amorah. instead of asking stupidass questions like dad and jamila did, they both kneel to encircle me with vinnie.

amorah reaches out to hug me and i let her because her hugs are the best. when you're tired and overwhelmed like i am, her hugs comfort you. her hugs realize how tired, anxious, and stressed you are and they accept it.

i learned that on the flight to new york when i left that one nighr.

"coco," dad leans down to take my hand and starts pulling me up. "you dropped so recklessly, let's get you up off the ground."

wait.

my crying fades and completely stops when i twist my face at him. "is that seriously all you care about right now?" i wipe the tears that were blocking my sight, and glare at him, disgusted.