was it ever real?

28. adonis the poet

vinnie's pov...

drunk on the bathroom floor, jenae's hiding her face through her hands while choking on her sobs. her voice barely croaks, "i'm so-sosorry," as the tears stream down her bloodshot red eyes and her breath hicks. normally drunk people drive me crazy with their unpredictable emotions, but jenae's different.

right now, this seems like something's been on her mind or holding her back.

"breath jellybean."i sigh, "tell me what's wrong."while lowering on the floor, to her eye level.

"i'm a terrible person. a terrible daughter. a terrible designer." her breath slows for a few seconds before she breaks out into a sob again.

"why would you ever think that?"

"i lie constantly. i just can't stop lying to the people i love." her head shakes, "i've been lying to my whole family about this whole relationship when i should've told the truth. i'm lying to the man who raised me with everything he had."

"but you're doing it because you care and want to make him proud jen,"

"then what do we do after saturday?"

that's a good question...
speaking of, where's amorah when you need her?

"we shouldn't think about that right now, especially not while you're under the influence of alcohol-"

"how am i supposed to make clothes for body empowerment when i don't even feel comfortable in my own body?" jenae tugs at the skin on her waists and stares at it in such shame. "everyday i hate myself more and more!" she murmurs.

"you're beautiful jenae."

"yea well i don't feel it."

"then," i take her into my arms and allow her arms to wrap around me. pressing her head into my chest for comfort, i kiss her forehead. "i'll make sure to remind you every day until you feel it."

her head snuggles into my chest and she lightly sniffles.

"jenae do you remember when we met?"

she nods her head.

"in that moment, and still to this day, i think of you as a goddess. as an arabic love poet said, 'from the base of her neck to the arch of her eyelids, her beauty made a slave of me.' and that's exactly what i feel for you."

listening to me, her head raises from my chest and her damp eyelashes flutter at me. still drunk, her purified dirt brown eyes glisten while she listens to everything i say.

"remember when we would go to that park near the dorm rooms and catch up on our work?  that was the only time i got it done because you were so inspiring to look at."

"why?" her head tilts.

"the concentration on your face as you sketched designs or decided on a piece of fabric by asking for my opinion. the way your eyes focused on where your fingertips touched, and the way your mouth bunched to the side of your cheek, biting the inside."

jenae's face softens and her lips curve into a gentle smile. a gorgeous smile that pleases the eyes with the feeling of softness. a captivating smile that compels the eyes to crease at the corners with an adoring gaze.