was it ever real?

09. we need each other

looking over my computer screen, i watch nano chew on his black plushie named nana, and bite it in the air. "gimme ya toy" i say in baby talk, encouraging him to play. he playfully wags his tail, causing the sides of his body to begin to wag side to side as well.

today, i decided to take a break from working on upcoming designs for fashion week, and be in the company of nano while being in control of my wash day by binging my favorite show. i also took this break because it's a monday, yesterday went to shit, and i still had to tell my father, sister, and my whole family that i wasn't in a relationship, plus, i couldn't afford to break down in my studio.

instead, i stayed cooped up in my home, cleaning, unpacking the rest of my boxes, and trying not to think about ways to rip the band-aid with my father and family. imagining the disappointment in their voices and my reputation in the family quickly going downhill made my stomach turn.

and now? i'm relaxing in the empty house, seated on the couch wearing a face mask, braless in my oversized tee. my playlist plays in the background and the cloudy sky filter through the windows.

nano brings nana to me, placing the toy beside me, and waiting for me to play fetch with him. i take a break from braiding the end of my knotless braid and throw the toy out into the hallway expecting him to follow. but i guess he was over it because he just looked at me and sat beside me.

nano's a rescue i found 2 years ago. when i was a new intern, i finished tending to my boss and began heading home. it was a rainy night and i remember the streets being pretty quiet. while walking, i passed a lady with an umbrella who had nano on a leash.

i smiled and lightly nodded at her, but after passing her, she shouted out to me asking me if i could do her a favor.

i nodded and let her say what she had to.

but to my surprise, she passed the leash to me and folded my palm over it with hers. i looked at her with a twisted face, but she explained herself before running off. she used the excuse that "he's...too much and too destructive." saying she "didn't have the time for him anymore and that she regret getting him."

but the way she said it...it was so emotionless like she couldn't care less about this puppy. a puppy with ears cropped, his tail doxxed, and he still had bandages.

it was clear to me that she only wanted him for an aesthetic and wasn't ready to go through the training and hard parts of owning a dog. and when she realized that he wasn't what she expected, she would throw him away to a stranger.

ever since we've been best friends.

suddenly nano sits up straight and stares at the door, scoffing under his breath. keys hit the door and the door flies open.

it's vinnie.

nano rushes to his plushie first, then rushes to vinnie, pushing nana into vinnie's hand and having them greet each other. in return, vinnie pets nano on his head and back and praises him.

"hey," he waves at me.

my arms cross, "hey..what're you doing back so early?" he normally comes home around 4-5 but it's 10 in the morning.

"i have to ask you something..."

"well, i'm listening..." i pause my show.

he says "remember the other night ?" passing by me with a sly smile on his face and plopping on the couch directly beside me.

i do. the tense feeling rises again, and i stand crossing my arms across my chest with a bit of attitude.

"what about it?"

"i'll take you up on your offer." he smiles with something mischievous.

pause...what?

"why? what changed?"

"maybe i slept on it," his shoulders shrug.

"liar."

but maybe i wasn't one to talk...

"okay-okay.," he rolls his eyes.

he begins to explain to me that last week his art agent was expecting a few new pieces for him to send off to the gallery.

the day before yesterday, he was supposed to get them to her around 8 but overslept since he was up that night trying to sketch. but when he got there, she asked why he was so late but then he explained that he was up all night helping his girlfriend recover from being sick. and now she asked if both he and his girlfriend, which is me, could attend a friend's art exhibit.

it was..interesting.

"so now we need each other?" i snicker.

"well...i guess you could say that?"

"why not just tell the truth? and what even made you think of an excuse like that? you can't lie for shit." i chuckle.

"yes or no jenae?" he impatiently rubs his face with one hand.

"what would you do if i said no?" i sneer, spreading the braiding hair and separating it for a new braid.

"i dunno, figure something out?"

i didn't speak. instead, began my new knotless braid and thought for a moment.

should i be an asshole about this, or should i be grown and own up to the fact that we both need each other? it's wrong to lie to your dad jenae, but it's also wrong to hurt his feelings over and over, disappointing him.

if we both needed this opportunity, then why be petty?

"if i say yes, then we have to set some rules and boundaries."

"deal," vinnie offers me a handshake as an agreement on both parties.

"deal," i shake his hand.

"first and most important thing we have to do is make all of this believable. body language is important and if we aren't on each other 24/7 someone might get suspicious."

"yea," vinnie begins to play fetch with nano, throwing nana down the hall and waiting for nano to run after it and bring it back. "mmn..but be a little more specific." he throws the toy again.

"i dunno..just hold my hand all the time and every time we're around each other. y'know like normal couples do?" my voice gets lower and lower, making me mumble the silly sentence.

"anyway, rule number two. we have to have a good story. if we tell two different stories they'll be even more suspicious."

"what's our story then?" he scratches his head.

"we met again at an art store and took each other's numbers down. we start talking for about a year and dating. when we moved in together."

"okay...what about when we break up?"

"we're still gonna live together when this all ends so... i don't know. i guess that's one thing we just eye as we go on." i shrug at him.

"do you have other things to add?"

"to be safe..i don't think we should mess around with other people. for the sake of this being quote-on-quote real."

"okay..makes sense.." i say but in my mind i'm giggling. little does he know i'm a free agent now and don't even have to worry about chris. but, i do remember seeing earrings on the kitchen counter a while back. so he's not off the hook.

"we covered just about everything...but what about pet names?"

"no." i narrow my eyes at him.

"okay jelly bean."

my lips press together and i roll my eyes, holding my tongue. "so when's your exhibition thing?" i continue to weave the braiding hair into a long braid.

"tomorrow."

"tomorrow!?"