was it ever real?

10. fix my tie

"you almost ready?" vinnie shouts from the living room in an annoyed tone.

i don't answer but instead, i look in the mirror one last time, pressing my stubborn-lifting edges down and twist my silky black dress to make my waists seem smaller. i pinch the thick skin of my waist, observing my unfit figure.

maybe i should start working out at home or something?

i take one last look at the mirror and leave my room with my purse in one hand and keys in the other - even though i feel like i'm missing something. nano knows we're about to leave out but he's too lazy to get up from his dog bed. so he just watches us.

"aha," vinnie tucks his hands into his pocket seemingly satisfied.

he's wearing a black suit and a plain black shirt underneath. his layered necklaces tangle neatly and his hair looks perfectly messy. he's glancing at me through his glasses like he wants to figure me out, or like he's up to something.

he looks cute.

"is that what you're wearing?" he crinkles his nose and curls his upper lip, examining me up and down.

oh...

my stomach sinks and my fingers intertwine in front of me before i blink my eyes, looking away to hide my embarrassment.

what's wrong with what i'm wearing...?

"i'm just kidding jenae." his face softens. he clears his throat and looks at his shoes lowering his voice. "you actually look...really good," he shrugs.

"oh thank you...so do you." i awkwardly rub my neck.

"i need help with my tie though," he softly smiles, revealing the dark grey tie in his hand.

"oh okay,"

with confidence, i take his tie and throw it over his head, getting on my tippy toes and closer to him so i can tuck it under the collar. his eyes glance down at me while i tried my best under his spotlight. his warm minty breath hit my cheek as he attempted to keep his head still.

i try not to look into his dark eyes while attempting to concentrate and figure it out myself. my fingers tug on the smooth material of the tie and try to wrap it under and around. it's been forever since i helped my dad fix his ties, so i think i forgot how to..

"got it?" he softly smirks, keeping his head straight, but piercing his eyes down at me. i don't answer him. instead, i lean in a bit more to tie the last part under.

it doesn't even look right..

but

we've been living together for almost 2 weeks now and this is the longest and closest we've been to each other.

i release the tie and step back, giving us some space. "it's been a while since i tied a tie for my dad so i don't remember how to do it anymore. let's just youtube it."

"it's alright, i can go without." his shoulders shrug and his lips bunch to the side -- like they always do.

"i still can't believe i'm doing this," i grumble under my breath. suddenly i remember that i forgot my lipgloss and walk toward my room. i holler to vinnie, "lemme just grab lip gloss!"

he shouts back, "ok!"

i grab the lip gloss but take one last look in the mirror, sucking in my stomach in hopes my waists would shrink in my dress and i would look less bloated.

i just look so fucking boxy in this dress..

with my efforts failing i grab my things and take a deep breath. "it's okay jenae," i repeat to myself as of it's an affirmation.

but i'm interrupted because i suddenly hear a shrilled scream come from the living room. as quickly as i can, i quickly wander into the living room to find vinnie huddled in a corner as if something in front of him was blocking him.

"what happened!" my eyes scan the room to find any possible threat. "it's a fucking centipede!" he screams, squeezing his eyes shut and pointing in front of him.

the bug was the size of a paperclip and isn't even headed in his direction. it looks lost like it accidentally crawled in here.

i gran a piece of paper on top of vinnie's sketchbook. "you're still terrified of bugs i see," i roll my eyes as i slide the paper under the bug and carefully lift it.

he makes a bleh face, poking his tongue out and turning away. i open the balcony door and let to centipede climb on my plants that were sitting outside.

hopefully he'll be good out there,

after closing the door, i notice his sketchbook. it was my favorite animal, koi fish. the caudal and pectoral fins were feathered into this beautiful silk. both of the circling fish weren't colored in but it looked like vinnie was close to finishing it.

when i turn around, vinnie is fixing his appearance, patting his clothes as if he wasn't a little crybaby a few seconds ago.

"thanks," he clears his throat returning his voice to his masculine tone.

"such a puss." i roll my eyes.