jenae is forced to move into an apartment with her ex-best friend, vinnie. it's awkward since things became rocky before the two separated, but now jenae needs him to fake as her boyfriend.
fyi, never fake a proposal at a restaurant for complimenta...
"fuck," my head fell back, onto his pillows and i breathly exhaled, adjusting my laced underwear.
chris fell back and on the bed, laying beside me, and out of breath too. "well that felt good." he chuckled, sliding to the edge of the bed with the sheets still tangled around his silky body.
"yea," my head shifted to face the window, looking at the evening stars and luminous moon.
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i wasn't being fully honest though. it wasn't that he didn't know how to please a woman but after a couple of these f*ck buddy sessions, you don't feel the lust anymore. without the lust, the orgasm is 2.5 seconds in heaven, then a feeling of guilt or discomfort. it's also knowing you have to do the aftercare quick and then leave.
knowing you can't have normal pillow talk or cuddle it out after making actual love was disappointing. actual love includes lust, but without that, it's just sex
and only sex.
chris is a guy i met at a cafe a couple of times before we decided to finally exchange numbers. not too long after exchanging numbers, we were doing it one night and he constructed the idea to mess around with no feeling involved.
but i somehow i may have failed.
because i began to fall for him.
his hoarse voice in my ear on some nights like this one. his beautiful thick lips pressed on my skin. his irresistible comfort. his hips that slammed onto mine repeatedly.
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chris put his pants on, leaving them unzipped, then walked into the living room, disappearing. i sat up, stretching my back and observing his messy room.
one of the things i learned is that he's the CEO of some company, meaning he owns a huge condo. still, his room was messy which didn't make any sense to me. i didn't know much about the guy, nor was i allowed to, but he seemed too isolated to me.
the only reason why we didn't hang out at my apartment this time is that when i got out of the shower, i notice vinnie was home early. any other time, chris comes over for a quick second then usually says he has something to do afterward.
as i'm still glancing and trying to get myself together so i can squirm off to the bathroom, the glare of a watch caught my attention. being curious, i clamped the chilly silver piece on my skin, trying it on to see if it fit. it was a heavy masculine watch that looked nowhere near my aesthetic or style. somehow, it attracted me still.
maybe because it looked like daddy's old watch.
a while back, mom gifted dad a watch when they were much in love and after she left, he still wore it to work. i was messing around with it one day, trying to understand why it was so special instead of painful, but then it ended up falling on the floor, breaking the crystal.
ever since that day he didn't speak on that watch. i knew he knew it was me, and that his watch was broken, but he still never said anything to me or jamila.
that made the guilt far worse than any discipline.
breaking my daydream, i rushed to the bathroom to pee. after washing my hands, i dried them and scanned around his clean bathroom. while patting the creases of my fingers, my knee popped the cabinet open and that's when i noticed two toothbrushes sitting in a cut little holder.
one sat so innocently as if it was some sort of sign.
a sign that i've been messing up.
but that doesn't mean that it's someone else's like a girlfriend. it could just be that he...wanted another toothbrush for better coverage? or maybe a friend came over and he provided them a toothbrush.
yea, that's all jenae.
chris is really sweet, he wouldn't lie about having a girlfriend and then cheat on her to hang out with you. he isnt that type of guy...
for a second i stood in the bathroom, chest-beating, gut-churning, and jaw-hanging. my thoughts couldn't stop fussing in my head. i began to second guess and think about how evil i must be, to be sleeping with a man, in a relationship.
what if karma comes back for something unintentional.
"almost done?" chris knocked at the door, kicking me out of my thoughts.
"uhhh, yea" i quickly shifted my eyes away from the cabinet mirror.
"sounded like something fell?"
"no, nothing fell." i opened the bathroom door plastering a smile on my face and acting as if i didn't just have guilt thrown into my heart.
"so," he had a towel in his arm and a charming smile on his face. his smile seemed too innocent, making me think again. maybe i'm right...that those weren't even items for a girlfriend.
"i've gotta' go somewhere so-"
"so i should get going? yea...i know." i peeked down at my toes, trying not to look him in the eyes.
he nodded and stepped into the bathroom saying "my girl," ironically, as if he was praising me for knowing "the deal".
it now made sense why i was never allowed to spend the night at his place.
